No Goodbye?

Going to the Dentist is an odd experience. A lot of people hate to go, despise the whole process and avoid it like the plague. I don't mind going, especially if the Dentist and his people are nice folks. The office we go to has the nicest group of dental professionals I've ever seen - and I've been to a lot of dentists. It's a small practice and my Dentist is a good guy, newly a Grandpa.
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It's an odd experience. The Dentist is practically holding your head in his lap, drilling and probing and working in a very personal way inside your body. He can be toiling away in close proximity to you for twenty minutes at a time. You're swapping body heat, you can smell his cologne and he can smell yours...And then they stuff some blood-absorbent sponges in your mouth, tell you to bite down, and they breeze out of the room like it aint no thing.
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Feels like you were abandoned, somehow.

Really Real Conspiracy Theories

The CIA totally stole my short term memory.
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That guy that almost ran me over with a bicycle as I was just about to ask Rachel Viancotti to the prom – that was myself from the future – and it’s a good thing because she killed her date that night with a fillet knife. Unless that was me too. (Eyes wide)
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The CIA totally stole my short term memory.
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I once found my picture on a milk carton, but decided it was better that I not get involved. Okay, more involved. All right I admit that one’s not a theory, it’s a sad fact of life.
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The CIA totally stole my short term memory.
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Boris Yeltsin was directly responsible for the untimely cancellation of Darkwing Duck, and I still have the audio tapes to prove it. Don’t even try it Boris, they’re in a very very safe place.
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The CIA totally stole my short term memory.

Credi-Bull #9

Credi-Bull - a news item that might be fact, or might be fiction.

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Jay Jacobson, once a renowned cult deprogrammer from Flagstaff, Arizona has recently been charged with brainwashing in a case currently pending at the State Appeals Court.

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It seems that Jacobson, now 53 - has 'found religion' after over thirty years of agnosticism. The case is focused on the fact that the religion that Jacobson found was itself considered a cult group - The Holy Children of the Immaculate Perception.

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In a case that may end up at the U.S. Supreme Court, Jacobson is being tried for 'brainwashing' 127 college students from nearby Northern Arizona University, convincing them to sell their worldly possessions and join THCIP. "It was never a problem when I was helping people find Jesus." Jacobson claimed in a statement on Tuesday.

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Real or Fake?
(Vote in the 'comments' section, answer to be revealed Monday).
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Visit Credi-Bull Central to read the past stories you may have missed!

Those Big Scary Guys

I wonder if Google is trying to have a subliminal impact on my movie viewing choices? Sure, the spelling is wrong, but...
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Wanna Hit?

I have some sinus issues, which means I very often have drainage going on in the back-of-the-throat area. (Lovely image, I know). The aforementioned goo gives me a nasty taste in my mouth and needless to say, bad breath.
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As a treatment, I pop Altoids (Thank You So Much, Great Britain!) very often. They are yummy and they scrub my breath nicely. But can I just go on like this, popping Altoids like a fiend with a drug habit? I once considered saving the tins and eventually building a house of out them.

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Perhaps I should get examined, have a surgeon drill my sinus channels a bit larger or some such. Or get a liquid Altoids drip installed - like an IV, but from a beer-hat like contraption.

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Hmn, it would be a conversation-starter, anyway.

Fo Shizzle Mah Bizzle!

This is old news, but I thought it was worth sharing with you - Gizoogle.com is a translation web site that parodies Google's foreign language translation applications.
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Take some perfectly innocuous text, like so:
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"Please join us on Sunday, February 26 for The Fifty-Third Annual 1st Methodist Church Pic-Nic and Bake Sale. We're trying to earn money for the new roof of the rectory, as the recent storm has wrecked havok on the shingles. Ophelia Brown will be serving her famous Oatmeal Date Cookies, and supplies won't last long - arrive early for your best chance to buy a batch!"
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And feed it into the Gizooglator...
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"Be jizzy us on Sunday, Febary 26 fo` The Fiddy-Tird Anal 1st Mefodist Church Pic-Nic n Bakes Sale, Playahs! Its just anotha homocide. We're trippin' ta earn money fo` tha new gangsta hat of tha rectory, as tha Big Man Upstairs done tore it up like your momma beats you and you like it on tha shingles. Ophelia Brown wizzle be gang bangin' her famous Oatmeal Date Cookie-Mookies, n da trunkload wizzon't last - getcher ass up and roll out early fo` yo biznest chance ta buy a biznatch!"
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Hours of fun.

Buy! Buy! Buy!

You may be familiar with blogshares.com, a fantasy stock market site for blogs. You can buy, sell and trade shares of practically any blog. It's entertaining, but I can't help thinking that it would be more fun if there was actual money involved.

It would be more exciting to improve my own blog (create an attractive template, write while sober, and perhaps even spell check now and then) if it might actually turn into profit - and it would be a thrill to see my favorite blogs rocket to the top, taking their stock prices and my dividends right along with them.

Maybe we should all pool our resources and start a real Blog Stock Exchange? Wish I coulda bought Dooce when it was still at $20.

WITFITS: 431 / VICARIOUS LIVING 4.71 / ETCH-A-SKETCH ATTENTION SPAN 1.31 / LIFE, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? 75.01 / SQUIRRLEYMOJO 1.41 / INVISIBLE LIZARD'S UNUSUAL ORANGES 27.40 / SUNNY SAYS 1.45 / CAKESNIFFERS BEWARE! 69.76 /

Credi-Bull #8

Credi-Bull - a news item that might be fact, or might be fiction.

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Grigori Rasputin was a Russian mystic who was embroiled in the politics of the 1800's and played a controversial role in the lives of Tsar Nicholas II and his wife Tsarina Alexandra.

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Rasputin is often called the Mad Monk, although he was never a monk and was married. He was believed to have been a psychic and faith healer, and led a scandalous life with his mostly female followers, was frequently

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seen picking up prostitutes and drinking himself into a stupor.

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He was later murdered by a group of Russian nobles and has since been portrayed by Christopher Lloyd in the animated feature Anastasia.

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More recently - despite his questionable history there is a division within the Russian Orthodox Church over a campaign to canonise Rasputin, with the eventual goal of making him a Saint.

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Real or Fake?

(Vote in the 'comments' section, answer to be revealed Monday).

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Visit Credi-Bull Central to read the past stories you may have missed!

Yeeeaaaah...

So - Stuff happened today, as stuff is wont to do. Nothing bad, just stuff. Things. The bread was right there, man. And peanut butter.

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And YES...DAMN IT, there was jelly, and that's all I'm gonna say. Instances of occurrences did their entropic thing, and Cause like, totally led to Effect.

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You know how it goes.
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And here I am, typing away writing a post. Trying to make something that happened today seem witty, examine something ordinary from a clever angle. Like we all do.
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Yup.

Launch - Like Brunch, But No Mimosa

I've had an account with Launch.com (internet radio) for a good six years now, and I've used it on and off at work since I got the account. I have the free version, which means I have to put up with commercials, but it's worth it. Or, it used to be.
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Lately the commercials have gotten really repetitive, which is annoying enough, but they also don't apply to me. The frustrating thing is, Launch knows my settings and preferences, so I shouldn't be hearing the commercials that are playing, ad nausea. (sic)
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"Hey there, Chief - you really should rate songs, it rocks, and helps us play the music you like!" (I DO - According to the rating tool, I'm not just a fan, I'm a zealot).
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"Yo Yo Brotha! You really should create your own customized Launch Radio Station, they're like supa dupa fly!" (I DID, five years ago, and I'm listening to it right now, dipshit).
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"What up, HomeDog? You should mark the songs you don't like as 'Never Play Again, so we won't! Word!" (I DO, constantly, but you don't listen).
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The annoying thing is, the web site knows all this information. They could be playing ads for something I might actually buy. It's a waste of their time and mine.
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Can anyone recommend a better internet radio site?

Send Help, I've officially lost it: (PG-13)

I've been using Gmail for about five months now, and I have a number of categories to help organize my random stuffs. I have a 'Story Ideas' category, and if something comes to me while I'm at work, I'll send myself a quick email to save it.

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I was going over the 'Story Ideas' from October 2005, when I came across a very cryptic entry which I'm unable to decipher. This is a problem, because if I don't know what it means, who could?

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This is the entirety of the email, and I have to say I'm at a total loss. Is it four different ideas or one bizarre story concept? Here it is:

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"person in psyche ward, word of the day, guy comes on shins, foot sex"