WOO! SUCCESS!

I felt an urgent need to use the restroom. While still in the doorway of the men's room, I noticed there was but a teensy scrap of toilet paper left.

I rushed to and checked the supply cabinet in the south hall - empty! The north hall cabinet - empty!

Shit shit shit.

I dared into the women's bathroom, where two rolls of toilet paper waited on the counter, smug in their crinkly wrapping paper. Huzzah! I grabbed one of the rolls, and absconded with it as if I were stealing an infant for a wife who must never know I threw the baby out with the bathwater.

YES! I ROCK! I felt a surge of pride and self-sufficience, surely the same sensation my prehistoric hunter-gatherer ancestors felt as they brought down a saber toothed tiger with their bare hands. I had reached deep into the secret core of my environment and wrenched free a mouthful of meat still hot from its beating heart!

Freeway Snaps #4

.

Is it just me, or would this be a better name for a lingerie shop? Maybe someone bought a lingerie shop, converted it into a pet spa, and didn't have the money for a new sign?

Sneaky Snack Solutions

We're not supposed to eat at our desks at work - yet we get no breaks other than lunch breaks. A person gets a bit peckish, you know?

So I came up with this food delivery system that's below the radar, or on the down-low, as it were:

.

Reason #283

Just in case you think I need another reason to dislike Florida:
.
.
This mofo's body was two or three inches long, before you even start measuring the legs... And he he has a little friend, too!

Freeway Snaps #3

I spend about 36 hours a month commuting, and come across all sorts of interesting things on the I-75 in central Florida.
.
.
If you don't live in Florida, you might not be aware that there's a whole industry devoted to custom golf carts...

I find this hilarious

It's time you knew something about me...

I love Kylie Minogue. Though it's crap, it's all so damn catchy.
.
.
Looking at the web site makes me feel mighty gay, though my love for womenfolk is undeniable. Man-Lesbian? Is there a term?

Cash? For me? No thanks!

What's the story with trucks with the 'Not for Hire' signs on them?

Are the truck drivers harassed wherever they go? People flagging them down at street corners, waving them over while on the freeway, Hey Hey Mr. Truckdriverman! Hey! Can I hire you?

"Look, here Lou. We need a new 'Not for Hire' sign! I had three people stop me yesterday and offer me work. So, it looks slow today - can I go home early? I don't need the money."

Another Fine EtchCo product!

I don't know about you, but I have tons of projects I would love to finish, but somehow never get around to them.

How about this? You log in to Etcho's ProjectEnforcement.com, type up your project synopsis, enter a start date, a projected finish date, and buy some collateral - a $200 or $500 bond, say. That seems pricey, but remember, not finishing the project needs to sting, or where's the motivation?

Next, you can agree to a pre-set contact schedule, or customize one of your own - do you want ProjectEnforcement.com to call you once a week? Once per day? Do you want email reminders? Text message reminders? You'd fill out agreements that give the web site permission to hassle you.

Say once per week you get a friendly email, once per fortnight you get an encouraging phone call, and once per month you get an urgently-worded snail mail letter stressing the importance of finishing the project.

"How are ya's? We's understands you's supposed ta be halfways done wit dat wedding scrapbook. Ya's only gots two more weeks, until things gets, ah - Jimmy, what's dat? Yeah, things'a get 'unpleasant'. Ya's don't wants that, do ya's? Heh heh heh."

You could set milestones, so you could set a novel you'd like to write as a project, and when you finish the synopsis, you log in to ProjectEnforcement.com, mark it off, finish the outline and mark it off, each chapter or act could be a milestone. You'd get congratulatory missives for each milestone - "Way to go!".

If you finish the project on time, you get your $500 bond back. If not, the pressure is turned way up for those last few weeks. Of course, you can forfeit at any time, and lose the entire bond. Want an extension? For a small fee, we would be happy to give you another 30 days to complete the project, and still be eligible for the full bond.

Once late, for every day the project is not finished, ProjectEnforcement.com will charge you $50. You'll get daily phone calls at this point, angry letters, and so on - until the entire bond is gone.

Once your bond is forfeit, your community profile status will blacklist you as a 'No Good Dirty Quitter', until you complete a project, when you're returned to 'Wanna-Be" status.

You're OUT (of my car)

Dear Hitch-hiker by the freeway onramp:

Strike 1: You were wearing a wifebeater and shorts at 8am on a Monday
Strike 2: Uncombed and unshaven
Strike 3: Smoking a cigarette

You know, maybe I could overlook the first and the second, but getting my car all stanky with cigarette funk? No thank you.

Mmn, Mushrooms

I encountered these dinner-plate-sized mushrooms on my way to check mail recently. Too bad they would probably kill me if I ate em. It would be cool if I owned testing apparatus that could scan and verify them safe for consumption. Pretty though.

.

Why so many pics lately, you ask? Well I finally have a camera phone that takes decent pics, is all.