It just came to me

"Ironing has nothing to do with heat, steam, or starch, and everything to do with will power."

Which must be why all the stuff I iron ends up 'somewhat less wrinkled', instead of 'crisply pressed'.

Baby needs a new pair of something

We don't exactly have our own water heater.

It seems that the entire building (4 apartments) shares one or more of them, it's not really clear. No matter the time of day, you never know if you're gonna get hot water. It's rarely cold. Usually it's warm.

I caught myself starting the shower this morning with a "Come on, hot water!" as if I were shaking dice in my hand, praying for a hard six so I could pay the mortgage.

Wait, maybe a roulette comparison would work better. Yeah, I could work in a Russian Roulette reference in there, and then segue into something about the Russian winter, and the death and whatnot.

Let's just pretend I did that... I have to iron my shirt and get going.