Is There a Doctor in the House?

Let's say you have world-class pee-holding abilities, and don't 'go' for 8 hours or more.

If you had a lot of caffeine early in the day, but then did not 'go' for many hours after...

Can what's left of the caffeine in your urine, in the bladder, affect you even in a small way as if it were newly ingested caffeine?

My vote is "no", but I'm not a doctor.

Thoughts?

Retraction!

You know that babbling about getting back into the longer, in-depth, meaningful posts? Yeah, I forgot something important - - I was blogging from work back then, and that aint* gonna happen no more. Also, I'm a lot less chatty now that I'm caffeine free. Hemingway had liquor, I had stimulants. Whatchoogonnado?

*Wait, shouldn't there be an apostrophe in ain't? Should someone really worry about correctly punctuating ain't? Hmm.

Gave up lint for fuzz

Hey, I've gone a full month without caffeine! (Not as impressive as Monsieur Lizard, but I'm proud) This is a huge deal for me - a few years ago, when I gave up my 4 cokes a day for lent and then gave up lent for lint, I started taking caffeine pills instead.

For years, my job involved sitting still and staring at a computer screen for hours on end - caffeine was the only way to stay awake.

Lately I'd been edgy, moody and depressed, and I kept wondering how much of it was the caffeine. Finally I decided to find out by quitting cold turkey. Quit all pills, actually. No more sinus pills, no more pain pills. Just my daily multivitamin.

Results - no longer edgy. The rest of the symptoms are hanging on. Maybe I need to eliminate something else. One thing at a time, until I discover a perfect balance. Mebbe I should cut down on the heroin?

Well, I haven't had a physical in about 18 years. (it was during my last year in high school - God, I'm old). Maybe getting one would help too.

Yabba Dabba Doo, Bitches!

Dear U.S. Surgeon General,

Hello. I'm sure that somewhere online or in some paper pamphlets you warn against suicide, and suicidal tendencies.

Just a thought - You might want to put something in there about the positive and powerful effects of caffeine.

Maybe something like: "If you're considering jumping off a bridge or slitting your wrists - stop by Starbucks, toss back a few double expresso's, wait an hour and give it a second thought."

I think that we'd see a glorious decline in ill-considered suicides.

Thanks,

MC Etcher

Grumpy. But too tired to bite anyone

I gave up caffeine as of Saturday...

I'm far, far far far less witty when not caffeinated. The whole "I'd like a nap right about now" phrase is kinda overused for me right now.

While I'm suffering through withdrawal and until my cravings wane, I'm gonna be lazy and hit you guys with some links.

Oh, but they're high-quality links! It's all good.

I've had a link to McSweeneys.net on this page for a long while now, but it's possible that a few of you have never clicked it. You've never explored the fun that is McSweeney's. Well it's time.

This will take you to the main page, and this will take you to their archives. They do a lot of very clever and witty stuff, and not just online - I received 'Fondling Your Muse', a very funny McSweeney's book on writing, for Christmas.

Just take a look at a snippet from their submission guidelines: (full text here)

GUIDELINES FOR WEB SUBMISSIONS

Dear writers,

A good portion of the work we publish on the website comes from complete strangers such as yourselves. While we remain small and irresponsible, and afflicted with mold-born allergies, we do our best to respond to all submissions quickly and professionally...

...PAYMENT There will likely be none. If there is any, it may come very late or in unusual currency.

I love these folks! Gotta have a sense of humor in this world.

~~~~~

Here's a few posts that I found especially funny:

What I Would Be Thinking About If I Were Billy Joel Driving Toward a Holiday Party Where I Knew There Was Going to Be a Piano

By Michael Ian Black

The 4-Year-Old on a Blind Date

By Ross Murray

Nihilist Job Résumé

By Eric Feezell

Mouthwash Commercials Taken to Their Logical Conclusion

By Mike Richardson-Bryan

My Memoirs of My Geisha

By Rick Stoeckel

Movie Reviews by the City of Los Angeles Itself

By Nathaniel Missildine

Like It or Not, You're No Bob Costas

By Sarah Walker

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