The Key Pocket Horror

For a while, I had three pairs of jeans, which was ok except for the fact that I wear jeans to work every day. Multiple wears and washes per week meant they wore out pretty quickly (wait, it was actually several years).

A couple of months ago, I found jeans on sale at Wal-Mart for $9.99 - score! Since I'm not concerned with the brand name on the label, ten dollar jeans for sitting at a desk on the phones all day works for me.

Except... After I cut the tags off, I discovered to my horrified dismay there is no key-pocket in these $9.99 jeans. I was shocked. It never occurred to me that jeans would or could be made without a key pocket - doesn't everyone have and need keys?

Don't get me wrong, I hate keys and look forward to their obsolescence with an extreme level of glee. They're jangly, clinky, clanky, constantly threaten to scratch my cell phone, cumbersome (especially with the bulky, necessary car remote) but while I still need to have keys, my pants need to accommodate this key need. (Chuckle)

And don't get me started on those belt-loop rings, where the keys dangle free as if all the world is a floppy jangling nude beach.

I decided that even though we don't own a sewing machine, and my sewing skills rate right up there with that of a third grader, if I was careful I should be able to sew on a key pocket of my own in each pair of jeans.

I cannibalized the old denim of my about to be discarded worn-out jeans for material, and set to laborious, cross-eyed work. Key pockets! Yay!

But no. Within a few hours of the first use, a key had wiggled its way between the stitches and was thrusting its determined head out of the key pocket like an enthusiastic sperm. NO! Bad key! Get out of the phone pocket! Go lie down!

So I sat down and spent several hours (I shit you not) carefully stitching a tightly woven barrier of overlapping stitches, like bricks in a wall, the best possible, most damn secure key pocket ever crafted by the hands of someone with all thumbs.

And a couple of hours after use: NO! BAD Key! And my phone is pregnant. The wedding is in March. So let this be a lesson to you - some jeans do not have key pockets - check before you buy.

Not Cool

I found this notice on my door on Friday night:

"Dear Residents:

Last night, the apartment complex experienced a break in and one of the items stolen was a set of master keys. We have already started the process of rekeying all the apartment units. The rekeying process requires that we enter each apartment unit. Each entry door lock will be reconfigured so that the stolen master key will no longer open the lock, but your individual entry lock key will still be operative. We hope the process completed by..."

A locksmith stopped by early on Sunday to change out the tumblers, the whole process took all of five minutes and indeed our existing keys still work - but it's still unsettling.

What would keep some random con man from posting such notices, and changing out a whole series of apartment's locks, only to allow himself access any time he likes? I didn't call the office to verify this notice, and I doubt most residents did.