If I Were Homeless

I would save up my alms for a cheap hammock. Yep, I would. A book on knots would be a good idea too, but that I could read at the library.

not a real knot

It's very weird - I can't tie a knot consciously.

Say I'm about to throw sweatpants into the washer, and I want to tie the waist-ropes together. Can't do it. My fingers fumble. Same thing happens if I try to tie shoes if they're not on my feet.

If I pull the article of clothing on, I have no problem tying the knot on the first try - I allow the knot to tie itself, somehow. But when I focus on it, it doesn't happen - because it's not a valid knot-tying situation? I know it's a simulation?

Is that a reason all my creative projects fizzle out, because I'm not committed enough? I know it's just for fun, and so I allow myself to be distracted? Or is it a Brain Crack phenomenon (as described by Kato and Paulius)?

I thought not taking myself too seriously meant that I would stay grounded, avoiding Pompous Ass Syndrome. It might be limiting my creativity too.