Tingly

I've had a tingly tickly wavery sensation right between my eyebrows for about a week now.

Self-diagnosis: Either I have a sinus infection or a tumor on my frontal lobe.

Hmm. No pain or discomfort, so it must be the frontal lobe. Mutant powers, I welcome you! Come on, teleportation! No whammies no whammies no whammies...

This Could Be Bad - Updated

I was unloading the dishwasher this morning - and I tend to do this very quickly and categorically - so for a 10 second period, I had five steak knives in my hand, ready to reload the knife rack. (yes yes, I shouldn't put my good knives in the dishwasher, I know).

The thought struck me that if I were to accidentally teleport elsewhere during that moment, that moment of holding a handful of knives, it could be bad.

The lobby of a high-priced knife store might be bad - they could mistake me for a knife thief.

A nursery ward of a hospital would be bad - if the nurses are doing their job, I should get tackled and tased promptly.

A bank.

In the middle of a football huddle, mid-game.

An NRA meeting.

Do you suffer from Accidental Teleportation Syndrome more than two or three times a week? Talk to your doctor about AcciTele, the FDA approved supplement designed to keep your butt in the chair. Side effects are generally mild, and may result in dry mouth, tenderness of the breast, and caramel flavored flatulence. Some cases of Spontaneous Teleportation During Orgasm have been reported - always fornicate partially clothed. Tell your Doctor if you think he's sexy.

35 years old and still no convictions! (felony, that is...)

Kitty likes bookshelf!

Still trying to teleport...
At least I haven't yet forgotten how to be silly.