Pancake Hygeine?

How do you folks across the world clean the batter bowl pour spout between individual pancake pours?

I’ve tried a paper towel - which gets icky and needs to be tossed after one or two wipes, a wet hand towel - which quickly needs rinsed or you just spread batter everywhere…

I admit that I use the ‘lick it off’ method – it’s just me and my wife, so she’s not concerned with my cooties.

Which method do you use?

They named it J-Lo!

Last night my sister Michelle (who lives in Cleveland) sent me the following news story.

This news takes place in my local area of Ocala, Florida and is about a chicken with two rear ends.

Cindy and I hadn’t even read the story yet, and we began discussing it based on the link text. Being the kind-hearted gal she is, Cindy felt sorry for the chicken. Being the ever-hungry devourer of egg and fowl that I am (they call me El Voraz Devorador de Pollo), I wondered if this hexed hen could lay twice the normal number of succulent eggs.

Since the chicken appears to be the result of a natural mutation, I don’t feel any special pangs of sympathy for the critter – it’s not as if it’s the unfortunate result of a diabolical gene-splicing experiment gone wrong.

If this hen and others like it could be bred with similar roosters, we might end up with super egg-layers within a few short delicious generations.

After reading the story, we discovered the chicken does not lay two eggs at the same time (which apparently is better for the chicken, since twice the eggs would mean a calcium deficiency – but could we not give the chicken supplements?).

Raising half the number of chickens means fewer to care for while maintaining the same egg production - this should equal more resources for the chickens, and hopefully better conditions, more elbow room (wing room?) in the pens, and etc.

Thoughts?

Second Breakfast

Here's my after-breakfast snack, which I believe is known in the world of Tolkien as 'Second Breakfast'.

This just in: Fresh cranberries are vile, horrible abominations. It's a good thing I already had a big bowl of cereal with sliced bananas.

I applaud the cranberry industry for finding a way to make these bitter little pills palatable. Have you tasted the chocolate covered cranberries? To kill for.

Where's my prize??

The cat litter had been disturbed from its usual smooth-topped config.

I shook the litter box back and forth three or four times.

Nothing!

"Where's my prize?!" I grumbled, as if I were shaking a box of Cap'n Crunch.

A voice inside me said 'What did you say?'

"Yeah, I know. Weird, right?" I responded.

I never liked Cap'n Crunch, even as a kid - but the Cap'n always seemed to have the best prizes, as if to taunt me.

Breakfasty Quips

"Are you eating cereal, or calling the parish to Mass?"

A Breakfast Adventure

Usually I have fruit and yogurt for breakfast - today it was a Hebrew National Hot Dog. (They're yummy - try 'em)

Usually I heat the hot dog for 50 seconds in the microwave - today I'm boiling it in a small amount of water.

As the water begins to boil, I set the timer for 2.5 minutes and grab the trash to be emptied - it's only 3/4 full, but it will make me happy to come home tonight to an empty garbage can. I kick a couple cat toys out of the way, open the patio blinds, remove the broomstick blocking the sliding patio door.

I open the patio door, and a rush of cold air hits me through the sliding screen door - it's 40 degrees outside - no one ever told me that central Florida got this cold. I'm not quite fully dressed for work - I'm wearing jeans, slippers, and a sleeveless shirt. Since I'll only be outside for about 20 seconds, the temperature and my clothing aren't a factor.

I make sure Lina isn't underfoot - unlike Gus, she's never allowed outside. I open the screen door and step out, quickly pulling the screen door almost closed.

I scamper down the steps, toss my trash, and scamper back up the stairs - only to discover the screen door is now locked from the inside. Ah, no worries - how secure can a screen door lock be? A bit a jiggling and the latch will pop free. I chuckle. How funny is this?

I pat my pockets - yup, no keys, no phone, no wallet.

I jiggle, jaggle, joggle the door, and no luck. I carefully, forcefully lift the handle, hoping to lift the latch above whatever it's catching on. No.

I shake the fuck out of the screen door - no luck. I really don't want to damage the door, so I'm not all that rough.

The timer for the boiling hot dog goes off. Another chuckle - okay, the bleeping is going to be annoying. I hate the bleeping - and with this particular timer model, the bleeping never stops.

The only thing that would make this better would be if the neighbor girl came out to walk her tiny dog right about now - or the downstairs old lady could come out to try to strike up a conversation - and god forbid I should have to make small talk with another human, especially when I'm in an embarrassing situation.

Bleep Bleep Bleep Bleep Bleep Bleep!

But hey, it's just embarrassing. No big deal - I don't have to leave for work for another 45 minutes. I'll figure something out.

Except for the fact that there was only a half inch of water in the pan - and the water evaporates fast. Within a few short minutes, there will be a flaming hot dog on the stove, and the fire alarms will go off to sing a chorus with the kitchen timer. And at that point, I'll have to damage the screen door to get back in, or knock on someone's door and ask for help.

I go to the far end of the screen door, pop it off its track, pull it away from the door frame. I push the glass sliding door out of the way, step into the apartment, and close the glass sliding door. It looks as if someone broke into my apartment during the night, but I don't care right now.

I put a stop to the damn bleeping. The hot dog is a dessicated relic - I toss it, refill a bit of water and start the hot dog breakfast process over again. Fun.

Maybe it's just me...

Am I wrong?
Is 36 years old too young to be taking this many pills with breakfast?
Makes me worry how many I'll be taking at 60.

If you can correctly identify each pill, you get 10 points.
If you can tell me what that dark spot on my palm is, you get 1000 points.

Another rousing breakfasty tale

I was boiling water for to make the oatmeals, and something on the burner's drip tray caught on fire (my sweetie does love boil-overs - dinner just isn't dinner without a boil-over).

The fire burned for a good minute, throwing up a fair bit of smoke. I prepared the hand towel for the inevitable smoke-alarm-alert-wavy-wave-waft.

Along with the smoke, tiny motes of burning boil-over rose up, like little flying creatures, lively little critters of energetic curiosity springing forth out of dinner debris in a flurry of spontaneous generation.

They burned out quickly, settling all over the kitchen as little specks of creamy ash, smearing everywhere like dirty little comets. They're so cute, I left them where they fell - I couldn't bring myself to scrub 'em off.

100% RDA of essential Althaea extract

Is it possible that kid's breakfast cereal is actually getting less healthy than it was in the 70's?
.

I remember when the commercials would wrap from the cartoon critter scampering lustfully after the children and their sweet and crunchy cargo to a shot of the cereal in a best-case scenario still-life shot.

The voiceover would say "Part of this complete breakfast!" - the table would be laden with eggs, bacon, pancakes, bagels, nine pounds of fruit, a mountain of brussels sprouts, and a cheerful half gallon of hummus.

A few years later, the voiceover had changed to "Part of this nutritious breakfast!"

Yesterday, I heard the latest version: "Part of this breakfast!"

What's next? "Could be considered food."
.

Real Life Conversation # 19

Huff huff hff huff!

I'm worried that after I leave, you'll fall off the treadmill and lie there, hurt.

Huff huff! Aw, I won't fall.

Mmn.

And if I did, the kitty would call 911 and give me CPR.

Chuckles.. I can see her jumping on your chest, boing! boing!

Cute Kitty Voice: Dammit, I'm not gonna lose you! Puff! Puff! Fight! FIGHT!

Cute Kitty Voice: ...I haven't had breakfast yet!

Real Life Conversation # 17

Ooh, cookies and milk for breakfast?

Mmmn-Grrr.

What? There's no reason to be shy - cookies for breakfast, that's what being an adult is all about. I'm having ice cream.

Uh-huh. Grr.

Hey, it's cool. You don't have to convince me it's all right.

Who said I was trying to convince you?