WOO HOO!

Name My Baby!

NaNoWriMo is going along well enough I suppose... As of this moment, I am about 5500 words behind (supposed to write 1667 words per day), which means I have written about 15,000 words of my novel. Not too shabby.

I'm having trouble coming up with a good title though. Trouble as in, I'm clueless. I'm too close to it. Then I remembered how many great suggestions you guys came up with the last time I needed title help (unsurprisingly, Kato the Great was the winner.)

It's that time again, I'm appealing to everyone's skills with wordplay - the winner gets huzzah's and acclaim on a blog with two readers. (Woo!)

Here's the synopsis:

For unknown reasons, a man begins losing time and regressing in stages to different points of his life. He remains the same physical age, but loses memories so that from his perspective , he's back to his 30's, back to his 20's, and eventually back to a childlike state.

His personal timeline was a very troubled one, doctors can't help, insurance won't cover him, so his teenage daughter and her boyfriend have a lot to deal with taking care of him and trying to solve the mystery.

Guess What?

Mmn, Mushrooms

I encountered these dinner-plate-sized mushrooms on my way to check mail recently. Too bad they would probably kill me if I ate em. It would be cool if I owned testing apparatus that could scan and verify them safe for consumption. Pretty though.

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Why so many pics lately, you ask? Well I finally have a camera phone that takes decent pics, is all.

Maybe it's just me...

Am I wrong?
Is 36 years old too young to be taking this many pills with breakfast?
Makes me worry how many I'll be taking at 60.

If you can correctly identify each pill, you get 10 points.
If you can tell me what that dark spot on my palm is, you get 1000 points.

Hear Ye, Hear Ye!

Did I mention we're getting married in Las Vegas on April 30, 2009 - exactly 8 years to the day after we were engaged. How romantic is that?

No really, how romantic is it? I have no idea.
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There's Kato in my Spam!

Our work email filter is very lax, since many of our customers email us with support questions, and they use everything from hotmail to corporate email accounts. Thus, we get lots of junk emails. Even places I've worked with very stringent filters will let some spam through.

But we're not allowed to surf the web at work, even on breaks!

So how about this? Create an RSS function that forwards your favorite content to you at work... AS SPAM! The little spammer module would plug in strings of spammy BS in all caps, and you'd just learn to skip those sections and read what you were interested in.

The email's Subject line:
Kato LOVE YOU witfits LONG TIME EREECTION GIANT THINGY PLEASE HER WELL GOODLY MARRIAGE

Body:
If you've been under a rock for the past year or so you may not have known that we were embroiled in a fierce format war. GIANT PLEASEURE STICK ALL YOURS MANY BLESSINGS UPON YOUR MARRIAGE BED The generals of each camp, Sony and Toshiba, each set loose on the high definition battlefield their own hand-picked champions: Blu-Ray and the more aptly named HD DVD, respectively.

LONGER LASTEING HAPPY DAYS FOR ALL ONLY $1.92 PER DOSE

Technologically they were quite similar, with differences between them lying mostly in total storage capacity and interface implementation. What was important was that they were both formats for storing High Definition video content...

Ah, this probably exists already. If not, I demand half of all profits please. Thanks.

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The Results Are Incontrovertible

I have developed a fool-proof method to determine whether a person believes in Fate or in Free Will.

(Yes, one or the other, not both.)

Let's imagine you're heading out to your car, and it starts raining. Pouring. Coming down in sheets. Do you run for the car, or just keep walking?

If you run in the rain - you believe in Free Will.
If you walk in the rain - you believe in Fate.
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Squalor Detracts from the Now

Are you tired of looking down your nose through the electronic-liquid-crystal-tinted windows of your Bentley and being forcibly reminded of the world's morass of entropic bedraggledom?

It's impossible to drive through any neighborhood without being accosted by the morass of roadside filth - shards of glass, empty fast food bags, would-be window washers, tiny pebbles, degenerates desperately squirming through the gutter towards their leering pushermen, grit, empty 40's of malt liquor, mouldering underpants, blue collar peasants staring with their vapid stares down the street, slouching indifferently towards the eventual arrival of urine-soaked, ever-tardy public transportation as broken thrift store toys litter the streets.

It's difficult to focus on the upcoming merger with this sort of distraction, no matter how crisp the gentle thrice-filtered HEPA air conditioning and the exquisiteness of the in-car live violin trio. Squalor detracts from the now.

One option would be to buy out these middle-class slums and turn them into an exclusive country club. This is very costly, and involves attending endless city council meetings to get sufficient re-zoning permits. Also, rubbing elbows with The Great Unwashed, which gets into the uncomfortable likelihood of exposure to something called 'elbow grease'.

At long last, there's a better option! Have your personal assistant make a convenient call to EtchCo's Commute Beautification Hotline, and our team of Commuscapers(tm) will do the rest.

Gone will be the shards of glass, empty fast food bags, empty 40's of malt liquor, and the rest of the...unpleasantness. Our fleet of industrial vacuum trucks will make a Commute Inspection and Cleanup Sweep(tm) mere minutes before your commute begins. All degenerates too weak to walk will be loaded into vans and transported in comfort to the nearest shelter. All public transport loiterers will be ferried to their destination at no charge, clearing the route for you, our priority commuters.

Tired of long waits at crowded intersections? You're far too important to sit at the same stoplight through two cycles of the same light as traffic edges along - our fleet of Traffic Flow Modification(tm) vehicles will arrive at key intersections fifteen minutes before yourself, to guarantee the right sort .reach the green lights they need in a timely fashion.

You've made the right choices in life - born well, made the right connections, married well, and are chauffeured in the utmost style and comfort - why should you expect any less of your commute? Call EtchCo's Commute Beautification Hotline today!
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A hookup? For ME?

Did I mention that my '91 Escort finally gave out?

Have I already babbled about this? It's easy to forget who you told what. It's why I always tell the truth, because it's too much work keeping track of lies.

Well, the car was about to give out - when the mechanic broke the news that it needed its transmission rebuilt ($2500) it was a huge blow to its morale.

Cindy happened to mention my car issues while she was at work. Someone at her work who knew someone who knows someone took a few steps, Cindy cashed out a chunk of her work stock for the down payment and POOF!! I have a new car.

Not just a new-for-me-but-in-fact-quite-savagely-used, but NEW. This is the first time I've ever had a new car.

It was the most painless car-buying experience ever, no pressure, no haggling, just a damn good car at a damn good deal.

It boggles the mind. It's all thanks to Cindy! Yay!

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By popular demand, a photo:

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How do you scoop?

In our household, we have two different ways of scooping ice cream -

I'm a deep pit miner, going all the way to the bottom of the carton (where the goodies often lurk).

Cindy is a strip miner, scooping shallowly from the surface, keeping everything uniform.

How do you guys do it?

Does anyone actually click on these?

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Crap Crap Crap

Work in an hour! Me not ready! Too much pressure! Eeep!

They've Never Wintered in Ohio. Clearly.

It's 52 degrees here in Central Florida right now... I love it. Cindy had told me that the temp wasn't 95 year round here, but I refused to believe her. I figured it was just part of her ploy to get me to move cross country.

(Like "Free Video Card Tuesdays" at Best Buy. Can't believe I fell for her fiendish lies on that one.)

Of course, all the natives hate this 'cold' weather, (wimps!) but I just keep thinking about how I'll spend the money I'm not blowing on air conditioning.

Well crap.

After deciding recently that I couldn't participate in NaNoWriMo this year because of the demands of the new job, I'm having second thoughts.

You're not allowed to study at home in any way. In fact, you're forbidden to even think about work while at home - I had to sign a waiver to that effect. You're not allowed to enter class more than 5 minutes early, either - so no showing up an hour early to brush up.

So it looks like I could try NaNoWriMo!

But I'm not prepared! No story idea, no outline, nothing. Usually I'll do a lot of mental processing on a concept a few weeks before I start a long project. But not this time. Will that turn out for the better? Is no prep a better way for me to go?

We'll see.

Word Verification? ? ?

The word verification functionality for posting comments doesn't seem to be going anywhere... When it was first introduced, I'd hoped that it would soon be upgraded - but no sign of that yet.

Such as:

a) When I'm logged in to Blogger, why do I have to perform a word verification check to comment ON MY OWN BLOG? I think I can trust me not to post spam. Probably.

b) I have a certain group who regularly comment on my blog, and most other blogs are the same. Why isn't there a way to add "Trusted Pals" to your blog settings, so those follks who comment all the time don't have to bother with word verification?

Maybe this is solved in the Beta? If so, I haven't seen any sign of it.

a # of unrelated thoughts

Help me, internet!

There are 3 things troubling me lately, and I don't know of an efficient way to look them up:

1) What is it called, where those fat men put a giant top hat over their head and shoulders, prance around with no shirt on, with eyes and a creepy mouth painted on their torso? It's some kind of performance piece, but I could not find it with a google search.

2) What is it called, when you just put two eggs in the skillet and simply stir them up as they cook? It's like scrambled eggs, but without the proper ingredients and mixing. For lack of a better term, I'm calling it "Lazy Man's Scramble".

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SquirrleyMojo claims I performed a Mise en scène in my last post. Since I did...that thing she said I did... without knowing what it is, that must mean I be genius. Yes, brilliant am me. Although... When your writing progresses to the point when it is best described using French terminology, (roman à clef, avant-garde, merde) it might be a good sign you've gotten too pretentious.

Or German terms, for that matter... (with the possible exception of farfignugon) - -

3) Yes, I know that I misspelled 'farfignugon' - can anyone clue me in on the correct spelling? A gold star awaits you.

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Arbeit 3: This Time It's Personnel

I got the job! I'll once again be a contributing member of the household! No more cooking breakfasts or washing laundries for me!

Bwa ha ha ha ha!!

My training will begin October 30ish, pending the results of my drug test. Unless my 'Raisins & Spice' oatmeal has something freaky in it, I'm good to go!

Thanks again for all the positive energies y'all sent my way!

35 years old and still no convictions! (felony, that is...)

Kitty likes bookshelf!

Still trying to teleport...
At least I haven't yet forgotten how to be silly.

What are the variables, please?

Extra Credit:

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Well first of all, it's a Woodchuck, so I must assume that it could or rather can chuck wood. The "if" phrasing makes one wonder if there is something impeding the woodchuck. Is it ill or infirm? Depressed? Recovering from pine-nut addiction? Since its health and vitality are not detailed, we must assume it is a healthy middle-aged woodchuck.

What the hell is a woodchuck, anyway? It's a groundhog, part of the squirrely family.

The question seems incomplete. What variety of wood? What's the elevation? Time of year? Is it a male or female woodchuck? How much time is allotted? What is the average chucking speed? What time does the fucking train leave Philadelphia?