Real Life Conversation #47

Can I help you, sir?

Yes, um – this is going to sound odd, but my treadmill stopped working and demanded lube.

Excuse me?

There’s a message on the screen that says ‘LUBE BELT’. I bought the treadmill here…

Ok… Let’s ask Dan. Hey, Dan! What do you know about treadmill lube?

I know we don’t have any.

So… WD40 then?

Yeah WD40 would do.

Living Room Treadmill

So is it tacky to have a treadmill in your living room?

Or does it show dedication?

Real Life Conversation # 19

Huff huff hff huff!

I'm worried that after I leave, you'll fall off the treadmill and lie there, hurt.

Huff huff! Aw, I won't fall.

Mmn.

And if I did, the kitty would call 911 and give me CPR.

Chuckles.. I can see her jumping on your chest, boing! boing!

Cute Kitty Voice: Dammit, I'm not gonna lose you! Puff! Puff! Fight! FIGHT!

Cute Kitty Voice: ...I haven't had breakfast yet!

3 Things

Why is it, going 3.8mph on the treadmill makes taking a drink of water a series of careful deliberate steps, but in the car, I think nothing of toying with my iPod at 70mph?

Can work stress cause stigmata? Or did I simply poke myself on something? And if it is stigmata, why me? Wouldn't a true believer have a lot more fun with them? Talk about something to include in the Christmas letter.

Hey, I get paid tomorrow!