Temptation, thy name is Blueberry

Otis Spunkmeyer is just wrong.

a barometer for the human experience

I hopped onto my browser to find out how to tie a tie.

I got as far as "How to" and the ever helpful auto-complete function kicked in and made some suggestions for me: (actual order)

How to tie a tie
How to kiss
How to get pregnant
How to french kiss
How to give head
How to flirt
How to lose weight
How to make love
How to gain weight
How to make out

I dunno about you, but damn.

I think what surprises me most: 'gain weight' is in the top 10.

Phil's Not Dead! He's running for VP!

I got a 100%!! Bring it!

Don't click this link

Nope

Did she LOL in the end?

My soon-to-be mother-in-law sent me an email last night. It seems she keeps notes on the likes and dislikes of the family, and since I'm about to be family... Her email was a list of about 75 questions. I thought I would share a few of my emailed answers with you.

Favorite Movies:
The Burning Bed
Sleeping With the Enemy
What's Love Got to Do With It?

Favorite Books:
Bastard Out of Carolina
The Color Purple
Misery

Favorite Phrase:
"Don't make me cut you again."

How long do you think she read on and on, a look of horror and dismay growing on her face, her jaw dropping and her hand reaching for the phone in a desperate effort to call the whole thing off BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE until realizing what an adorable lil joker I am?

Checking In

About to get married! Yay!
Had my hours cut at work. Boo!
Heading to Vegas for our Honeymoon! Yay!
Might need to find a new job soon. Boo!

How's your corner of the globe?
Hope life is more Yay than Boo.

Am I the only one?

Sometimes I feel guilty when skipping a song on my ipod or Pandora - as if somewhere, Skip Statistics are being tracked, and it's ruining an artist's day.

"Sure, he paid 99 cents for the song, but he only listened to it twice, and then skipped past it the next ten times. Why?? WHYYY?? What did I do wrong? Why didn't Mommy love me??"

I just wasn't in the mood for that song right then, ok? It's a wonderful song, and clearly I like it or I wouldn't have purchased it. I just need to be in right mode to enjoy it. Um, it's not you, it's me?

Man + Geek = Dilemma

Forgive me.

I have ten minutes of free time before I have to leave for work.

I could:

A) Enjoy some quality porn

B) Watch a vid of Buzz Aldrin (if you don't know who he is, I don't want to know you) at the unveiling of WhiteKnightTwo (if you don't know what this is, you are dead to me).

I chose B.
The idea that the geek in me overrode the base animal instincts says a lot for humankind. I think we're gonna make it. Woo!

Real Life Conversation #40

He sent his kid to fencing camp! And not the construction kind.

Wow, sounds expensive.

But he also sent her to YMCA camp, so it isn't all guns and roses.

Ha Ha HA! What?

:::Chuckle::: Um, what's the term?

A bed of roses?

Yeah, that.