Retraction!

You know that babbling about getting back into the longer, in-depth, meaningful posts? Yeah, I forgot something important - - I was blogging from work back then, and that aint* gonna happen no more. Also, I'm a lot less chatty now that I'm caffeine free. Hemingway had liquor, I had stimulants. Whatchoogonnado?

*Wait, shouldn't there be an apostrophe in ain't? Should someone really worry about correctly punctuating ain't? Hmm.

3 topics, 4 Words (Enhanced!)

Bionic Woman -

needed 2 part premiere

(why no sound effect?)

Chuck -

great fun hubba hubba

(girl's not bad either)

Journeyman -

good but too serious

(dead girl is hot)

TMI

The best way to enjoy music, books, or any art form seems to be distancing yourself from news and gossip about the artist. Learn as little as possible about them, treat each creation like an archaeological find – all you will ever know about them is what this artifact tells you. Let each work of art tell its own story.

It's very easy to get pulled in to an artist's world. Compelling imagery can entice you to take the next step and learn more about the person and their life. The art makes you relate to them, and it's natural to want more. It's important to resist this temptation. It's a rare artist that lives up to expectation.

A song that you found so poignant, so touching - that song you felt was about you, as if someone read your journal and wrote out your pain, longhand, in musical form. When you look deeper, you realize that Artist X didn't write that song at all. It was written by J.P. Hollingsworth in 1847, a professional songwriter who wrote the piece on commission for a play (Le Belle Du Chelle) celebrating the use of pork sausage.

So that artwork, your latest favorite, has lost its power and punch. And this person, who you felt such a connection with, wasn't abused as a child after all – he just did a cover tune.

An artist that seemed to be a virtuoso turns out to be false, a deep soul thanks only to the magic of editing.

Damn, they're married. Wasn't it a lot more sexy to think of them as single? Why deny yourself the brief and simple thrill of imaging yourself as their partner? And married four times, no less. Their obvious snap decisions and bad taste are a turn off.

Might discovering the artist's politics, sexual orientation, treatment of animals, preference for young boys, affect your appreciation of their art? Are you going to burn all of your The Who albums because Pete Townshend is accused of kiddy porn?

Interviews are to be avoided. Artists aren't public speakers, regardless of the messages often broadcast though their work. Typically, the more you discover about an artist, the less respect you have for them. They go from this great sensitive, emotional wellspring to an average, flawed person who wants nothing more than a huge mansion and eight BMW's in their twelve car garage. Oh - and some closure.

It often becomes clear that more than wanting to make world changes, they want personal change. Something hurt them, and they are venting their pain. They weren't speaking to you at all, it just seemed that way. Avoid too much information, and maintain the mystery.

3 Years!

I've been blogging since August of 2004! What happened over the last year though? Most of my posts have become short little quips. Where are all the long rambles about neat invention concepts? I'll have to get back into that*. Unless I'm just all out of ideas...

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*...uhh...tomorrow.

Real Life Conversation #28

Help help I'm a battered husband!

You're about to be.

I'd go to work all bruised and have to claim I ran into a door. Uh... Repeatedly.

Make it a revolving door?

Ha! Good one.

Come on now...

When people say "no regrets", I wonder how sincere they are. Do they truly have no regrets, or are they worried that by changing the negative things, some positive things would be lost in the timeline re-shuffle?

Me? I wish I'd gotten a degree immediately after high school, since I still haven't.

a budget diagnosis

If you can somehow manage to actually forget to feed a cat, you just might have Alzheimer's.

Would it be so hard?

More and more news stories are delivered as video clips - this is fine, especially for something especially suited to footage. But if it seems that too often, news stories are being offered as video clips only. Would it be so hard to have a text version?

I like to scan/skim through a news story and glean the parts I want - trying to do that with a video is a lot more frustrating.

NOOOOOOOO

During the first day at my new job yesterday, it became unavoidably clear that the glasses I was prescribed about 7 months ago and have since worn for only 20 hours total have become a necessity, at least at work.

Attention Science Folks!

Did you know that millions of people are allergic to nuts? It's crazy. The brainy people should come up with some sort of inoculation for humans, using squirrel RNA or some such.

You're welcome! I only ask for 5% of the profits.


PS: Don't look up "allergic" in Google Image Search.

Scavenging for DNA?

Why does this gum disposal have a lock on it? Are there used-gum connoisseurs trolling the streets, looking for these sticky (and delicious!) cache?
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Congratulations, it's a Gizmo!

My Dad is retiring in February, after working for the last 50 years or so. He's very handy and sharp, and in his spare time, he'll become an inventor.

Maybe I should tell him about this plan - he has no idea.

Maybe it's just me

Have you guys seen this article about disposal of used hypodermic needles in old soda cans? The miracle is in the lid!
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Am I the only one that thinks this is a bad idea?

Aluminum cans:

- aren't known for their durability (at 0.019 thousandths of an inch)
- are an item people are likely to dig through the trash to find
- are made of one of the few endlessly recyclable materials

If the lids work exactly as the designers hope they will, this means thousands of cans in landfills, forever - a waste of perfectly recyclable aluminum.

If scavenging folks collect these cans, will recycling centers accept them with a "totally tamper proof" plastic lid, full of needles? No. When you realize a soda can is readily cut through with a butter knife, how tamper proof is it?

Is this plastic biodegradable? Of course not - that would impede the safety, wouldn't it? Just what we need, more plastic in the landfills.

Is a can better than previous solutions? Yes.
Prize-worthy? A good solution? No.

Real Life Conversation #27

He watches her from the living room via the kitchen passthrough.

She opens the snack cupboard, frowns, and looks at him, disappointed.

I know! I know! Unfrosted Pop Tarts. I grabbed the wrong box.

Hee Hee Hee

Have you guys seen this? Wonderful!

Grrr

Those soy-milk commericals with the bipedal talking cows really annoy me.

That is all.

Etcher's Law #48

If your peanut butter and jelly sandwich doesn't get jelly all over your hands, you didn't use enough.

That kid is BACK ON THE ESCALATOR!

What would possess people, lots and lots of people, to drive motorcycles and scooters in FLIP FLOPS? I saw no less than 7 people doing this today. Not to mention that they were wearing shorts, tank tops, and NO HELMETS.

Waste of a memory stick

My sister and her hubby are on their way back to Cleveland. They enjoyed Florida, but only managed to take 1 picture while they were here. They have a digital camera, so they really have no excuse.

I told her I'd find her some pics online of the attractions they visited - I wonder if there are digital collections for just such lazy people - did you visit Orlando? Buy the Orlando Pics Pack, 500 photos for just $9.99. They could superimpose you in front of a few choice pics, for an additional fee.