The best arts and crafts take everyday things, everyday problems, and turn them into something other - perhaps wholly unexpected, but somehow fitting in their new guise and surroundings.
In business, huge profits can lie in finding a niche market - going into a fresh direction, solving a problem no other company has even realized needs solving.
The Problem:
Serial Killers have loads of corpses littering up our good nation's ditches, copses, and marshlands - this unregulated disposal is highly problematic - I can't tell you how many nature hikes I've taken that have been spoiled by the discovery of a mutilated corpse - another Sunday morning needlessly ruined!
The Solution:
EtchCo's Corpse-Cutters: The Road-Kill Collection(tm)
Don't fling last night's conquest down the nearest embankment! Is that the work of a professional hunter or a perverted nothing? Are you a Nine Year Old Boy Locked In His Aunt's Closet Or Are You A Man?
Prove your manliness with EtchCo's Corpse-Cutters: The Road-Kill Collection(tm). The kit includes: Goggles, Gloves, Fillet Knife, Trophy Ziplock, Assorted neutral-toned (fully biodegradable!) fur scraps, Disposable Waterproof Camera, High-Quality 32-page scrapbook, Bleach (1qt), and these 4 quality road-kill cutters:
That's right, we have four high-quality .5mm teflon-coated steel cutters, each with their own size and weight allowance:
Cute Little 1 lb. Mouse
Adorable 3 lb. Bunny
Precious Lil 8lb. Schnauzer
Huggable 35 lb. Llama
(photos not to scale)
The first 200 orders include the 'How to Scatter Your Road-Kill Cut Corpse' pamphlet - (don't make the mistake of drawing attention with too many roadkills per mile), so ORDER TODAY!
Did you know that over 63% of all serial killers are apprehended as they revisit the graves of their conquests? With EtchCo's Corpse Cutters: The Road Kill Collection, you'll be able to drive right by their mouldering remains every day and never raise an eyebrow. Now that's satisfaction you can take to the bank! ORDER NOW!
In business, huge profits can lie in finding a niche market - going into a fresh direction, solving a problem no other company has even realized needs solving.
The Problem:
Serial Killers have loads of corpses littering up our good nation's ditches, copses, and marshlands - this unregulated disposal is highly problematic - I can't tell you how many nature hikes I've taken that have been spoiled by the discovery of a mutilated corpse - another Sunday morning needlessly ruined!
The Solution:
EtchCo's Corpse-Cutters: The Road-Kill Collection(tm)
Don't fling last night's conquest down the nearest embankment! Is that the work of a professional hunter or a perverted nothing? Are you a Nine Year Old Boy Locked In His Aunt's Closet Or Are You A Man?
Prove your manliness with EtchCo's Corpse-Cutters: The Road-Kill Collection(tm). The kit includes: Goggles, Gloves, Fillet Knife, Trophy Ziplock, Assorted neutral-toned (fully biodegradable!) fur scraps, Disposable Waterproof Camera, High-Quality 32-page scrapbook, Bleach (1qt), and these 4 quality road-kill cutters:
That's right, we have four high-quality .5mm teflon-coated steel cutters, each with their own size and weight allowance:
Cute Little 1 lb. Mouse
Adorable 3 lb. Bunny
Precious Lil 8lb. Schnauzer
Huggable 35 lb. Llama
(photos not to scale)
The first 200 orders include the 'How to Scatter Your Road-Kill Cut Corpse' pamphlet - (don't make the mistake of drawing attention with too many roadkills per mile), so ORDER TODAY!Did you know that over 63% of all serial killers are apprehended as they revisit the graves of their conquests? With EtchCo's Corpse Cutters: The Road Kill Collection, you'll be able to drive right by their mouldering remains every day and never raise an eyebrow. Now that's satisfaction you can take to the bank! ORDER NOW!
Allow me to apologize for this post.
ReplyDeleteI know it's horribly callous, but I also think it's damned funny. I may be the only one who thinks so...
Hey, if you can't offer a terrifying glimpse into your psychopathic subconscious in your own blog, where can you?
ReplyDelete