Is it possible to create a novella-length melodramatic work entirely in the present tense? I'm sure it's been done... How readable would it be? That is, can it hold a reader's attention without feeling too awkward to them?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Green is beginning to stir. His breath is raspy, heavy with effort, wet thanks to a punctured lung.
Gail finds her hands gripping his gun in fingers tight and cold. Her jaw is clenched, teeth grinding. She's overwhelmed by a sense of outrage at his invasion into her space, not just her car, but her space – her tidy world.
Her fingers close on the trigger, and the gun goes off almost effortlessly. She will later convince herself it was an accident. The BANG fills the tiny space to overflowing, and her ears whine an endless E.
The red-haired thug runs up to the car just in time to see his buddy take a point-blank bullet. Red stumbles away, gathers himself up, running off at top speed.
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Also, can you say these words in the present tense:
punctured
clenched
overwhelmed
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Green is beginning to stir. His breath is raspy, heavy with effort, wet thanks to a punctured lung.
Gail finds her hands gripping his gun in fingers tight and cold. Her jaw is clenched, teeth grinding. She's overwhelmed by a sense of outrage at his invasion into her space, not just her car, but her space – her tidy world.
Her fingers close on the trigger, and the gun goes off almost effortlessly. She will later convince herself it was an accident. The BANG fills the tiny space to overflowing, and her ears whine an endless E.
The red-haired thug runs up to the car just in time to see his buddy take a point-blank bullet. Red stumbles away, gathers himself up, running off at top speed.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Also, can you say these words in the present tense:
punctured
clenched
overwhelmed
Present tense just feels forced no matter how well you do it, as for those three words, yes you can:
ReplyDelete"The bullet flies from his gun, creating a puncture in the car door"
"The muzzle blast rings in his ears, causing his teeth to clench"
"The panic rises in his chest, threatening to overwhelm him"
Like I said, you can you them, but they still sound awkward and forced.
The bullet punctures the car door.
ReplyDeleteHis teeth clench as . . .
His finger clenches the trigger . . .
Panic overwhelms him . . .
Doesn't feel awkward to me. We write film criticisms in present tense . . .
I remember reading a book by L.E. Modesitt years ago that was written entirely in the third person present. It was extremely distracting any time I stopped and started again. Once you've read a few pages it's not a big deal, but put the book down and come back later and you have to start the adjustment phase all over again.
ReplyDeleteThanks guys, your input is much appreciated!
ReplyDelete