Weekly French Lesson

I'm sure I'm not the only one who's irate about the French language lessons that teach you utterly useless things to say, such as:

"Voulez-vous passer s’il vous plaît le plateau de fromage de chèvre?"
("Would you please pass the plate of goat cheese?")

Here's something you'll actually use:
"J'ai mangé trop de Twinkies - où est l'Immodium A-D?"
("I have eaten too many Twinkies - where is the Immodium A-D?")

I have empowered you! Go forth! Impress some yokels!