Kids today... Need to learn to hem.
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Thursday, January 31, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Another rousing breakfasty tale
I was boiling water for to make the oatmeals, and something on the burner's drip tray caught on fire (my sweetie does love boil-overs - dinner just isn't dinner without a boil-over).
The fire burned for a good minute, throwing up a fair bit of smoke. I prepared the hand towel for the inevitable smoke-alarm-alert-wavy-wave-waft.
Along with the smoke, tiny motes of burning boil-over rose up, like little flying creatures, lively little critters of energetic curiosity springing forth out of dinner debris in a flurry of spontaneous generation.
They burned out quickly, settling all over the kitchen as little specks of creamy ash, smearing everywhere like dirty little comets. They're so cute, I left them where they fell - I couldn't bring myself to scrub 'em off.
The fire burned for a good minute, throwing up a fair bit of smoke. I prepared the hand towel for the inevitable smoke-alarm-alert-wavy-wave-waft.
Along with the smoke, tiny motes of burning boil-over rose up, like little flying creatures, lively little critters of energetic curiosity springing forth out of dinner debris in a flurry of spontaneous generation.
They burned out quickly, settling all over the kitchen as little specks of creamy ash, smearing everywhere like dirty little comets. They're so cute, I left them where they fell - I couldn't bring myself to scrub 'em off.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Ho-Hum Humdrum
To paraphrase The Great One...
"Once you start down the straight and narrow path, forever will it dominate your destiny - consume you it will..."
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"Once you start down the straight and narrow path, forever will it dominate your destiny - consume you it will..."
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Monday, January 28, 2008
Real Life Conversation #33
100 Calorie Packs, huh?
Yep! I figured it was high time I brought in some snacks.
So they're like Twinkies or whatever?
Except they only have 100 calories per pack!
Yeah, but they're still full of stuff I can't pronounce...
Really? Maybe it's time to expand your vocabulary.
Yep! I figured it was high time I brought in some snacks.
So they're like Twinkies or whatever?
Except they only have 100 calories per pack!
Yeah, but they're still full of stuff I can't pronounce...
Really? Maybe it's time to expand your vocabulary.
Friday, January 25, 2008
The answer is 2
I was cutting an apple on the cutting board this morning, and the knife broke - the blade snapped free of the handle. I promptly set the broken knife aside and grabbed another knife.
The second knife cut the apple like... well, like a knife cuts an apple.
But I had to wonder, as I was crunching and munching the appley goodness, why I assumed the problem was the knife, not the apple. Why didn't I check the apple? How many knives would I need to ruin before I'd check the apple?
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The second knife cut the apple like... well, like a knife cuts an apple.
But I had to wonder, as I was crunching and munching the appley goodness, why I assumed the problem was the knife, not the apple. Why didn't I check the apple? How many knives would I need to ruin before I'd check the apple?
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Thursday, January 24, 2008
How to create mouseover text for a link
SquirrleyMojo recently asked how to create a link with text that pops up when you're mousing over it. Luckily, this is easy, or I wouldn't be able to do it.
Let's say you want to put a link in one of your blog posts.
1) Find your URL and copy it
2) Highlight the text within the post you want to make into a link
3) Click the Link button
4) Paste in the URL and click OK
(Your link is done, you've done that part before - now the new stuff)
5) Click the 'Edit Html' link at the top right of the compose field
6) Find your link within the HTML - it will look like this:
7) You add in a little string of text that reads:
.....title="it's easy!" or whatever you want. Long sentences will be cut off, btw.
(I usually put this right after the 'a' and before the 'href' - be sure to space it out so no words run together - like so:
8) Publish the post! You're all done.
Probably too many steps for an average blogger - someday there'll be button for 'add mouseover text' but for now, there's this method.
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Let's say you want to put a link in one of your blog posts.
1) Find your URL and copy it
2) Highlight the text within the post you want to make into a link
3) Click the Link button
4) Paste in the URL and click OK
(Your link is done, you've done that part before - now the new stuff)
5) Click the 'Edit Html' link at the top right of the compose field
6) Find your link within the HTML - it will look like this:
7) You add in a little string of text that reads:.....title="it's easy!" or whatever you want. Long sentences will be cut off, btw.
(I usually put this right after the 'a' and before the 'href' - be sure to space it out so no words run together - like so:
8) Publish the post! You're all done.
Probably too many steps for an average blogger - someday there'll be button for 'add mouseover text' but for now, there's this method.
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Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Peas and Carrots, gate 12B. Aaeerrr zoooom
I'm Just a Big Baby is one of the best diet books of all time - and I've read a few. The authors really lay it out in a way that can't be ignored - we're very adept at justifying way too much bad behavior.
It's interesting that we start out life with the best of care, most carefully calculated diet, most balanced nutrition - only to throw it all out the window and start eating random crap.
There are so many things for expecting mothers to avoid, substances that supposedly can't pass through the placenta but just-say-no just in case.
There are dozens of things you're not allowed to give a baby - everything from medications to gluten - and yet we funnel innumerable dangerous chemicals into our bodies every day - so what if such things are known to cause birth defects or interfere with fetal cell division. Hey, that doesn't apply to me, I'm an adult - ignoring the fact that millions of new cells are produced in our bodies every day.
This new book is great, and you should check it out!
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(except that I just made it up. sorry.)
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It's interesting that we start out life with the best of care, most carefully calculated diet, most balanced nutrition - only to throw it all out the window and start eating random crap.There are so many things for expecting mothers to avoid, substances that supposedly can't pass through the placenta but just-say-no just in case.
There are dozens of things you're not allowed to give a baby - everything from medications to gluten - and yet we funnel innumerable dangerous chemicals into our bodies every day - so what if such things are known to cause birth defects or interfere with fetal cell division. Hey, that doesn't apply to me, I'm an adult - ignoring the fact that millions of new cells are produced in our bodies every day.
This new book is great, and you should check it out!
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(except that I just made it up. sorry.)
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Monday, January 21, 2008
Squalor Detracts from the Now
Are you tired of looking down your nose through the electronic-liquid-crystal-tinted windows of your Bentley and being forcibly reminded of the world's morass of entropic bedraggledom?
It's impossible to drive through any neighborhood without being accosted by the morass of roadside filth - shards of glass, empty fast food bags, would-be window washers, tiny pebbles, degenerates desperately squirming through the gutter towards their leering pushermen, grit, empty 40's of malt liquor, mouldering underpants, blue collar peasants staring with their vapid stares down the street, slouching indifferently towards the eventual arrival of urine-soaked, ever-tardy public transportation as broken thrift store toys litter the streets.
It's difficult to focus on the upcoming merger with this sort of distraction, no matter how crisp the gentle thrice-filtered HEPA air conditioning and the exquisiteness of the in-car live violin trio. Squalor detracts from the now.
One option would be to buy out these middle-class slums and turn them into an exclusive country club. This is very costly, and involves attending endless city council meetings to get sufficient re-zoning permits. Also, rubbing elbows with The Great Unwashed, which gets into the uncomfortable likelihood of exposure to something called 'elbow grease'.
At long last, there's a better option! Have your personal assistant make a convenient call to EtchCo's Commute Beautification Hotline, and our team of Commuscapers(tm) will do the rest.
Gone will be the shards of glass, empty fast food bags, empty 40's of malt liquor, and the rest of the...unpleasantness. Our fleet of industrial vacuum trucks will make a Commute Inspection and Cleanup Sweep(tm) mere minutes before your commute begins. All degenerates too weak to walk will be loaded into vans and transported in comfort to the nearest shelter. All public transport loiterers will be ferried to their destination at no charge, clearing the route for you, our priority commuters.
Tired of long waits at crowded intersections? You're far too important to sit at the same stoplight through two cycles of the same light as traffic edges along - our fleet of Traffic Flow Modification(tm) vehicles will arrive at key intersections fifteen minutes before yourself, to guarantee the right sort .reach the green lights they need in a timely fashion.
You've made the right choices in life - born well, made the right connections, married well, and are chauffeured in the utmost style and comfort - why should you expect any less of your commute? Call EtchCo's Commute Beautification Hotline today!
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It's impossible to drive through any neighborhood without being accosted by the morass of roadside filth - shards of glass, empty fast food bags, would-be window washers, tiny pebbles, degenerates desperately squirming through the gutter towards their leering pushermen, grit, empty 40's of malt liquor, mouldering underpants, blue collar peasants staring with their vapid stares down the street, slouching indifferently towards the eventual arrival of urine-soaked, ever-tardy public transportation as broken thrift store toys litter the streets.
It's difficult to focus on the upcoming merger with this sort of distraction, no matter how crisp the gentle thrice-filtered HEPA air conditioning and the exquisiteness of the in-car live violin trio. Squalor detracts from the now.
One option would be to buy out these middle-class slums and turn them into an exclusive country club. This is very costly, and involves attending endless city council meetings to get sufficient re-zoning permits. Also, rubbing elbows with The Great Unwashed, which gets into the uncomfortable likelihood of exposure to something called 'elbow grease'.
At long last, there's a better option! Have your personal assistant make a convenient call to EtchCo's Commute Beautification Hotline, and our team of Commuscapers(tm) will do the rest.
Gone will be the shards of glass, empty fast food bags, empty 40's of malt liquor, and the rest of the...unpleasantness. Our fleet of industrial vacuum trucks will make a Commute Inspection and Cleanup Sweep(tm) mere minutes before your commute begins. All degenerates too weak to walk will be loaded into vans and transported in comfort to the nearest shelter. All public transport loiterers will be ferried to their destination at no charge, clearing the route for you, our priority commuters.
Tired of long waits at crowded intersections? You're far too important to sit at the same stoplight through two cycles of the same light as traffic edges along - our fleet of Traffic Flow Modification(tm) vehicles will arrive at key intersections fifteen minutes before yourself, to guarantee the right sort .reach the green lights they need in a timely fashion.
You've made the right choices in life - born well, made the right connections, married well, and are chauffeured in the utmost style and comfort - why should you expect any less of your commute? Call EtchCo's Commute Beautification Hotline today!
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Sunday, January 20, 2008
The Untold (Sunday) Story
1...Build ark
2...Gather 2 of each animal
3...Collect dung
4...Get permit for dung
5...Collect more dung
6...Make fertilizer from dung
7...Rent U-Cart from Abel
8...Blow up dam
9...Mysterious flood kills neighbors
10. .Take over prime real estate
11. .Write memoirs, leave out 'dung' part
2...Gather 2 of each animal
3...Collect dung
4...Get permit for dung
5...Collect more dung
6...Make fertilizer from dung
7...Rent U-Cart from Abel
8...Blow up dam
9...Mysterious flood kills neighbors
10. .Take over prime real estate
11. .Write memoirs, leave out 'dung' part
Saturday, January 19, 2008
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