Nobel Prize, Please

I woke up and lie in bed, thinking about physics.

(I resort to a calculator for simple addition, so it's not that I'm a math whiz - just the result of too many documentaries.)

I was thinking over everything that physics doesn't know yet: What time is, why it's relative, and what is Dark Matter?

I realized a few things.

1) Time is the constant expansion of space-time in all directions.

2) Time is relative because at high speeds there's less friction when moving with the flow as opposed to barely moving. (Time = friction)

3) Pockets of Dark Matter are deformations in space-time, cosmic potholes filled with puddles of 'normal' matter, like galaxies.

If I knew how to write the formula for this, I'd be set.