Actually. For Real. In Fact.

I've been running job searches using Indeed.com lately, and they have a feature that I have not seen on other job search sites - you can type in quite a few keywords to exclude. Finally!
I was on the phone with XM last night, waiting on hold to cancel my subscription, and I just kept searching and excluding words until the keyword field filled up - it actually accepted a lot more words than you would expect.

Here's my list of exclusions - it takes a list of 1,254 jobs and turns it into a list of 313. The list isn't as streamlined as I would like - it only works on whole words, so if I want to exclude 'Sales Opportunity' and 'Salesman', I have to use each term separately - but it's still a good feature.

telemarket lube sale society labor shands machinist server spray clinical cheese truck marketing patroller underwriting underwriter OB GYN execution tax mechanic satellite installation scientist pharmacist electrician groomer orthopaedic choir urology pathologist therapist therapy pepsi installer babysitter officer goodwill account sitter nanny ironworker jiffy rehab pizza kmart army oDesk RN licensed certified avon steak spanish nurse

Apply Now! Before it's too late!

Temporary Full Time Airport Operations Tech Intern

Prestige Consultant

Spray Assistant

Bike Assembler - Toys R Us

Life Enrichment Director

Wound Nurse $5000 sign on bonus!

Cheese Specialist

Urology Opportunity

Furniture Sales Person / Designer

Merchandising Execution Manager

Coordinator, Planetarium

Easygoing 1-Year-Old Toddler Needs Loving Nanny

Certified Tumor Registrar

She can catch me anytime!

The job hunt continues!

Remember The Pretender?
(Ms. Parker, yow!)

Which jobs could you get away with faking it for just seven days?

How about:

Substitute Teacher (anything but math or foreign languages)

Psychiatrist (Simply nod a lot and take notes)

Programmer (Just look thoroughly focused and take 2 hour lunch breaks*)

Horse Whisperer (C'mon, why not - it's not like the horse is gonna tell on you)

~~~~~

*Sounds posh, but they tend to stay very late and work weekends too

Does anyone actually click on these?

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Tick tick tick

I quit my job recently - had I mentioned that? I couldn't take it. I thought I would love a strict corporate structure, and everything that went with it - since I'm highly perfectionist about my work, and I have a strong work ethic.

Instead, I hated it. Maybe I'm far too spoiled by working in game development. Maybe I just missed the self-congratulation of working for free spirited companies over the past 10 years and showing off how timely and studious I could be? Look at me! Look at me!

My sweet and thoughtful wife completely supported my decision to quit - how cool is that? So I'm back in job-hunting mode.

One of Cindy's coworkers makes money on the side as a non-fiction writer for a number of area publications, and Cindy is encouraging me in that area. Since I'm not working, Cindy has assigned me to write two nonfiction pieces by the end of the week. But I don't have any idea which topics to pursue. I mean, I'm not an authority on anything other than my own BS.

So... yeah. Any topic suggestions? Time's running out fast!

Also, some of these job postings are downright funny -

Phlebotomist / Currier
In this position, you would take blood and tan hides? Please tell me you meant "courier". Who has no trouble spelling Phlebotomist, and then stumbles over "courier"?

Lawn Enforcement Officer
Do I get a ruler, badge and gun? Sign me up!

Psychiatrist - Entry level will train
Sounds interesting, actually.

Mebbe I need me a huntin dawg?

Reading through all the online job postings for this area, it's odd how many want you to show up on their doorstep - 'apply in person at 1234 Job St'. I'd never seen that in postings for jobs in Los Angeles - but I guess a smaller city can afford the foot traffic.

(I still have my job with Wingular Cireless, such as it is)

Also, in these job postings, there's a lot of 'fax your resume to...' and very few email addresses. Luckily we have a fax machine, a big ole printer/scanner behemoth that's like 10 years old. Tell you the truth, I'm not even sure the fax is working - maybe I'm sending blank pages to all these folks - that would:

a) Explain why no one ever calls me for an interview
b) Soothe my damaged and fragile ego.

Part of it could be that for the last 6 years I worked in Software Quality Assurance, and no one here has any idea what that is when they see it on my resume. It sounds like a BS job title, maybe? Does Data Processing Clerk sound better?

One posting that claims to be an international semiconductor sales firm appears (according to Google Maps) to be run out of some guy's house. Hm. My wife has vetoed that job, though I'm sure it's possible to sell semiconductors out of your garage. He's not necessarily a serial killer - the fact that he wants me to bring kitty litter, duct tape and garbage bags to the interview means nothing. Maybe he just has a lot of cats.

I'm gonna have to send a test fax to Cindy at her work. I'm torn - If the fax is broken, I can blame the equipment for not getting any calls... But then I have to buy a new fax machine and start over.