Hollow Bones

I took a walk this morning after Cindy left for work - I've yet to transfer my gym membership, and I wanted to get some air and exercise. I thought that I might find a post topic during the walk, and I was right.

Near the beginning of my walk, I encountered a black bird about the size of a raven - but it weren't no raven - a) it had a totally different body structure - and b) cause ravens dig me. It followed me for about 40 feet, chirping grumpily at me.

"Am I on your turf dude? Sorry." I said politely. (Yeah, I talk to animals...)

I walked on for about another mile and a half (residential blocks in FL are huge) and then retraced my steps to the apartment.

As I passed Grumpy Black Bird's Turf once again, he started chirping even more insistently. As I neared the only tree in the area, he swooped past my left ear so closely that I swear I felt his wingtips clip me.

A guy in a car not ten feet away opened his door laughing.

"I saw that!" he said, his tone indicating that I shouldn't think I made it up - You've got a witness, dude!

I chuckled in response and gave the guy the "Do you believe this shit?" look.

I did my best to get out of the bird's turf as quickly as possible - he swooped at me once more, but nowhere near as close as the first time. The bird was probably just protecting his nest - I'd chase him off if he kept walking through my bedroom.

Cindy is creeped out by birds - especially the big ones like swans and geese - who have been known to attack people. (I'm not talking about some warning 'get away from my babies' pecks here, I mean full-on assault). I always tell her not to worry, that they have hollow bones and she should just stomp any swan that attacks her.

Still, it is creepy to be dive-bombed by a good sized bird. Welcome to the Everglades, I guess. At least it didn't poop on me - I've seen that happen.

I'd say it's time to do a re-make of The Birds. We could do great things with the modern fx - tiny birds would be scarier than the big ones - I can imagine thousands of tiny birds stripping a person to the bone in seconds, like little flying piranha.