I was watching The Weather Channel yesterday (A necessity in FL) and they were forecasting Extreme UV Levels in the morning, and Severe Thunderstorms in the afternoon.
For a moment, I blinked to myself and wondered why I was choosing to live in a state where terms like 'Extreme' and 'Severe' are tossed around on a daily basis, like it aint no thing. Oh, right - I was doing it for el-oh-vee-ee (the perfect justification for anything short of genocide).
As I take my morning walks around the neighborhood, I often notice women with parasols, big hats, or just holding their briefcases in front of their faces to block the sun on the way from their apartment to the car. I'm not joking - for the 30 feet it takes these women to get to the car, they're blocking out the sun like it's serious bad ju-ju.
The sun IS serious bad ju-ju.
Unfortunately, guys can't get away with carrying a parasol. Big hats don't go well with office clothes. And blocking out the sun with a briefcase on the way to the car would make a man seem like some sort of pansy - (not from my point of view, but our culture is tough on men). I suppose it's all about the packaging and marketing.
A male parasol could work, if it was designed properly and advertised just so.
"I'm Brock Brickly, of the Dallas Cowboys - I'm here to tell you all about The Man Shade, from Schick. Harmful UV is a problem for men too - that's why I use The Man Shade, to keep my skin cancer-free and sexy-soft!"
Instead of looking like frilly umbrella, The Man Shade could be a rugged arc of manly high-tech fabric - like a Special Forces parachute. It could be emblazoned with the faces and jersey numbers of the day's most popular sports stars, proudly showing off the colors of your favorite sports teams, or patriotically cheering on the military branch of your choice.
Semper Fi, indeed.
For a moment, I blinked to myself and wondered why I was choosing to live in a state where terms like 'Extreme' and 'Severe' are tossed around on a daily basis, like it aint no thing. Oh, right - I was doing it for el-oh-vee-ee (the perfect justification for anything short of genocide).
As I take my morning walks around the neighborhood, I often notice women with parasols, big hats, or just holding their briefcases in front of their faces to block the sun on the way from their apartment to the car. I'm not joking - for the 30 feet it takes these women to get to the car, they're blocking out the sun like it's serious bad ju-ju.
The sun IS serious bad ju-ju.
Unfortunately, guys can't get away with carrying a parasol. Big hats don't go well with office clothes. And blocking out the sun with a briefcase on the way to the car would make a man seem like some sort of pansy - (not from my point of view, but our culture is tough on men). I suppose it's all about the packaging and marketing.
A male parasol could work, if it was designed properly and advertised just so.
"I'm Brock Brickly, of the Dallas Cowboys - I'm here to tell you all about The Man Shade, from Schick. Harmful UV is a problem for men too - that's why I use The Man Shade, to keep my skin cancer-free and sexy-soft!"
Instead of looking like frilly umbrella, The Man Shade could be a rugged arc of manly high-tech fabric - like a Special Forces parachute. It could be emblazoned with the faces and jersey numbers of the day's most popular sports stars, proudly showing off the colors of your favorite sports teams, or patriotically cheering on the military branch of your choice.
Semper Fi, indeed.
Like all products for men, they need only advertise by saying (or implying) "It will get you laid," and we'll all buy it. We're such sheep.
ReplyDeleteHa, Man Shade! I'll take ten.
ReplyDeleteOR ..........
ReplyDelete-here's a novel idea, but bear with me-.......
Guys could just slather on a bit of SUNSCREEN before venturing out.
Sunscreen really does work and they make really HIGH numbers of sunscreen to protect our skin from those horrible UV rays.
Yeah but I hate applying sunscreen, it gets all greasy...and I always miss a spot.
ReplyDeleteThe man shade's a much better idea, and to expand on CK's idea, you could advertise it like the axe deoderant ads. Guy walks down street, looks at sun, deploys his man-shade (I like the word deploy, much more manly that 'open'), and is instantly flocked by a few hundred nubile young women.
They'd fly off the shelves.
i should so use this post in my WS class!
ReplyDeleteSQ: Hee hee! Feel free!
ReplyDeleteI'm with sunny. If the man would just up the need to be lazy, a man shade would not be needed. Course then, you have to give up the attack of nubile women. As if that would happen anyway.
ReplyDelete