Guess What? Your Friend Is Secretly Gay!

This morning, I checked my email to see one from Netflix, informing me that one of my pals has invited me to be a Netflix Buddy. We would be able to send one another recommendations easily, and life would be swell.

So I'm like, "ok, why not."

And then I signed into Netflix, and holy shit, there was
Buddy in My Netflix. (similar to, there's peanut butter in my chocolate)

Was there ever!
It's like my pal came over to my house with a handful of sharpies and wrote "I Am Mike's Friend and I Rock" on every wall and piece of furniture, and across the tv screen.

Netflix is all "Oh you don't like that movie huh? Well your Buddy thought it Rocked The Casbah, clearly there's something wrong with you."

And

"Would you like to take a poll and try to guess your Buddy's favorite movies?"

(which I did, because I am gullible. and I totally aced it)

The point is, suddenly signs of my pal are all over Netflix now. It's like he pee'd in all the corners and put a rotting cut of beef behind my stove to remind me.

"Smell that?
That's right, I was all up in your hizzy."

I'm afraid to look at my wife when she gets home, she might have a brand burnt into her forehead "Your Pal Only Gives Your Gal Two Stars"

Compared to the 10-Plus score I have awarded her.

Netflix has begun emailing me: "Your Buddy Loves This One! Check it out! You won't have anything to talk about unless you see 'Lake Placid' and Love it! Better watch it now! Click here to buy!"

Netflix did not make it clear that all my previous flicks would be viewable to my pal. Since I'm getting emailed about his tastes, I can only assume he's now getting emailed about my preferences.

That's not good, that aint nice.

Good thing Netflix does not deal in the porn.

...What if I'm all about quilting vids and don't want it to get out?
I'm a closet quilter, and I like it like that.

But what if I was secretly into alternative lifestyles?
(not that there's anything wrong with that)

- - - - -

Hello Valued Customer!

Your Friend Mike Smith would like to reveal to the world
that he is ever so Gay, and wants you to share in his favorite flicks:

Yentl
Everybody Sing
To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar
Cabaret
Cats
Urban Cowboy
Oklahoma!
Staying Alive
Revenge of the Sith
Grease
Beaches

Love,
Netflix

- - - - - -

PS All these movies are classics and I'm not saying they're not great. Just trying to be funny, and failing...

PPS: Except for Revenge of the Sith, ick.