Job Ideas

We're planning to move to Florida sometime early next year (It would be neat to know the date, but no such luck) - - Cindy will be transferring within her company, and I'll be looking for a new job.

I had some ideas for businesses I could start once we move to Florida.

- - A document shredding service.
I didn't know these existed until I saw the trucks on the road, with the name of the company emblazoned on the side. People will pay you to lug away their old papers and shred em? Hell, I already have a pickup, all I'd need would be a dollie. Oh, and a better shredder. The one we have now was like fifteen bucks at Target, I think. And hey, you could sell the shredded docs as packing material to warehouses!

- - A steam cleaning service.
Not the kind that cleans your oven, but rather the kind that clean outdoor cement areas that might be stained with bird poop or spilled strawberry shakes, vehicle oil, or just foot traffic. I've always enjoyed spraying things. Maybe it's a guy thing, and harkens back to potty training, I dunno. Buy a big steam pump unit, and some rubber pants, and bang! I have my own business.

No cleaning up litter or dirty diapers left in the parking lot - I just spray, and I spray damn good, ya hear? Also, if I ever became embroiled in a dastardly scheme and the bad guys tried to take me out and I beat them down, I could torture and interrogate them with my steam nozzle. "Ever had steamed clams? The meat just falls off the bone. Like Buttah. Now tell me, and I'm only askin once - where is the treasure buried?"

- - I could tutor would-be video game testers.
God knows there are millions of misguided kids who think game testing is a dream job. And they have money. They usually spend it on games or snack goods, but they'd give me some for a few lessons.

- - Regular Joe Psychoanalysis / Marriage counseling
You tell 'em up front that you gots no degrees or any special learnins or nothin. You're just a regular joe like they is. Who wants a high-falootin psychiatrist with his doctorate and his raw-fish eatin, italian-car drivin metrosexual commie sensibilities listening to their problems? Regular Joe will take care of you, bruddah! ...And they sign lots of waivers before you start talking to them. It's all good! Mebbe hire someone with a Chiropractic license, so you can accept insurance.