Trying to sell your writing is about half as fun as a root canal, in case you didn't know. The assorted Writer's Digest books, such as Writer's Market (or books like them) are unfortunately pretty damned necessary.
(There are of course online resources, such as this one from Writer's Digest, though you must pay a nominal fee to subscribe).
To keep with the dental motif, let's compare slogging through the hip-deep mud of the Writer's Market to the high-pitched VEEEEEEEEEEEEEER of the dental drill. Bad. Cringe-worthy. Of course, it's not Writer's Market's fault - The true blame lies with the publications who write the entries - but you get the idea.
Here's an example of an entry, only slightly exaggerated:
OUR SHIT DON'T STINK
Magazine: 6x9, 100 pages; 99lb cream white vellum cover stock; 73lb cream white vellum paper. Highest quality original lead Times New Roman Typeface, hand-set in antique press, printed with the ink of giant squids. Annual. Estab 1913. Circ 150
Needs: "Highest quality, very well-written and cutting edge but nothing extreme...No Fiction, Nonfiction, Sci Fi, Fantasy, or Porn. Gay ok if 'done right'. No nudity or suggestiveness."
Receives: 50,000 submissions per year.
Accepts: 1 or 2 submissions per year.
Responds: In 2 years on queries. Do not send ms.
Publishes: 5 years after acceptance.
Pay: 1 author's copy. Additional copies $50.
Advice: Send only your best work!
(There are of course online resources, such as this one from Writer's Digest, though you must pay a nominal fee to subscribe).
To keep with the dental motif, let's compare slogging through the hip-deep mud of the Writer's Market to the high-pitched VEEEEEEEEEEEEEER of the dental drill. Bad. Cringe-worthy. Of course, it's not Writer's Market's fault - The true blame lies with the publications who write the entries - but you get the idea.
Here's an example of an entry, only slightly exaggerated:
OUR SHIT DON'T STINK
Magazine: 6x9, 100 pages; 99lb cream white vellum cover stock; 73lb cream white vellum paper. Highest quality original lead Times New Roman Typeface, hand-set in antique press, printed with the ink of giant squids. Annual. Estab 1913. Circ 150
Needs: "Highest quality, very well-written and cutting edge but nothing extreme...No Fiction, Nonfiction, Sci Fi, Fantasy, or Porn. Gay ok if 'done right'. No nudity or suggestiveness."
Receives: 50,000 submissions per year.
Accepts: 1 or 2 submissions per year.
Responds: In 2 years on queries. Do not send ms.
Publishes: 5 years after acceptance.
Pay: 1 author's copy. Additional copies $50.
Advice: Send only your best work!
What the hell is the deal with queries, anyway? Unless you're famous and popular, can they really accomplish anything? It's like writing a story about how great your story is. "It's a boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy finds different girl but then decides he's really in love with his father. It's a black comedy. It's ever so much fun to read. Shall I send it to you?"
Why not just write and send thousands of queries, and only write the stories for the ones they like? Ppthtp!
(Paulius Posting under Sunny's account because the beta won't let me log in).
ReplyDeleteI've been published in magazines once or twice.
Here's the trick...submit anything you can to all the crappy "made with a photocopier" local magazines you can find. They're usually desperate for material and all the established writers think the local mags are 'below' them...meaning the competition isn't of the highest quality.
Eventually, you have a fairly long list of credits that you put in your cover letter...and sending a query or a piece of work without a list of credits is like sending a piece of paper with "Give me a job" to an employer instead of a resume.
Basically:
"Title" Published in "Mag Title" 2004
looks impressive, especially when they don't know it was a college magazine where everyone taking that writing class was published in it.