Thursday, March 02, 2006

A Very Easy Decision


The Pizza Hut commercials featuring Jessica Simpson and Miss Piggy got me thinking.....My testosterone-steeped mammalian brain did the same old computation it performs a thousand times per day - if you could date one of two women, which one? It doesn't take a supercomputer to calculate this one - hell, an abacus has plenty of computing power.
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Comparison:
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Miss Piggy - Muppet
Jessica Simpson - Strumpet
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Miss Piggy - Diva
Jessica Simpson - Diva
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Miss Piggy - Mostly Artificial Parts
Jessica Simpson - Ditto
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Miss Piggy - Intimately friendly with the great Frank Oz
Jessica Simpson - The Wizard of who?
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Miss Piggy - Enduring (if violent) love and commitment for Kermie across nearly 25 years
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Jessica Simpson - Divorced 9 times.
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In the end, you have to judge women by the men they love.

3 comments:

  1. Please tell me you opted for Ms. P...

    Amy

    ReplyDelete
  2. The "mostly artificial parts" comparison isn't all that fair. Jessica isn't surgically enhanced. Just ask her dad; he loves nothing more than to talk about his daughter's breasts. No, that's not creepy at all Mr. Simpson.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Amy - of course I opted for Miss Piggy!

    ReplyDelete