Bite Me, Swiffer.

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New! Best Cleaning Tool Ever!

Some of you may remember my post -
in praise of the Mr. Clean Magic Wall Eraser, or MCMWE.

This next tool surpasses the MCMWE.
I know, I wouldn't have believed it either.

First of all, allow me to present something of a disclaimer:
If you are the compulsive, tidy sort of person (as I am) do not read this post. I warn you for your own good.

All right, here we go. The amazing tool for this week is:

A Lint Roller.

You know, those rolly kind with the layers of adhesive tape? Well now they have a large version, suitable for carpets and floors and etc.

Step 1:
Vacuum your floor thoroughly. Like Mom used to.

Step 2:
Roll a freshly-peeled lint roller firmly on your rug, until it will no longer pick up crud.

Step 3:
Note with extreme distress the amount of hair, lint, food particles, and rodent droppings now adhered to the lint roller.

Step 4:
Throw away your vacuum cleaner.

Step 5:
Spend the next 4 hours feverishly rolling your carpet.

Step 6:
Sleep soundly with peace and joy in your heart.