1) If I commit Sins - and that's a big IF mind you, cause I'm a great guy - it would be that I use far too many paper towels in the course of a day. But they're so hygienic, so absorbent, how could I not?
2) The phrase "Fo Shizzle" has become lodged in my brain the way a catchy song might, to the extent that I'm crying out FO SHIZZLE when I'm alone - - and even worse, when I think I'm alone but am not, to the extent that I've begun seriously considering creating a comic book character about mild-mannered office worker who cries out FO SHIZZLE and transforms into a Super Pimp, in the vein of Shazam. Only my character would have, you know - a felt hat and hoes.
3) This free work coffee tastes like Ass, but my coworkers assure me I'll develop a taste for it, and now I'm worried about developing an unpleasant new fetish.
2) The phrase "Fo Shizzle" has become lodged in my brain the way a catchy song might, to the extent that I'm crying out FO SHIZZLE when I'm alone - - and even worse, when I think I'm alone but am not, to the extent that I've begun seriously considering creating a comic book character about mild-mannered office worker who cries out FO SHIZZLE and transforms into a Super Pimp, in the vein of Shazam. Only my character would have, you know - a felt hat and hoes.
3) This free work coffee tastes like Ass, but my coworkers assure me I'll develop a taste for it, and now I'm worried about developing an unpleasant new fetish.
Perhaps recylcing would help off-set your paper towel travesties.
ReplyDeleteIs the FO SHIZZLE Super Pimp the protagonist of your NaNoWriMo novel? Or perhaps a graphic novel of some sort?
Bring your own coffee to work. Sure, I could make an ass-tasting joke here, but I'm a lady.
(Hey, why are you laughing?)
Whenever somebody says that something tastes like ass, I immediatly question their frame of reference.
ReplyDeleteDrat, IL beat me to the punch on that joke. I've wondered the same thing. I can't honestly say that I would know. I mean I have feeling it doesn't taste like cotton candy, but I can't say for sure, and I don't want to find out.
ReplyDeleteI think I should change the subject before this goes much further, so I'll just say: I would totally buy an MC Etcher graphic novel.
1) Whether or not your actions are a sin depends on your god's stance on hygiene and absorption. Are you a follower of Jehovah, the Buddha or the Flying Spaghetti Monster?
ReplyDelete2) I had the same problem with the Mr Burns-style "Excellent". I kept doing it in the supermarket when I found tinned corn on sale. Complete with the finger steepling and the hunch.
3) What Invisible Lizard said, only blunter.
Although I could give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you were talkign about the equine ass rather than the buttacular one.