I'm still looking for a job, and spend an unfortunate amount of time cruising the job posting web sites. It's troubling how poorly written most job opening blurbs are, and how many words are incorrectly spelled.
For some reason, many of them feel compelled to start out by asking you "Are you ready for an exciting career move?" and spend the next 500 words describing the history of their company. Who cares?
Also, they seem so insistent on something called a "degree".
I could totally do these jobs:
Cyberknife Therapist
"Well it seems you're putting too much pressure on yourself. You're just a cyberknife, what do they expect? I think you spend too much time bolted to your steel frame. You spend every day grounded to the generator. Get out, go to the park. Adopt a kitten."
Speech Pathologist
This seems to be where political speeches go after they die. The speech is already dead, right? I'd just take my time, dig around in there with a red pen. I could start out with city councilmen, and work my way up.
Park Ranger
Oh I can range, baby! In a park even.
Geologist
I know iron pyrite, like on sight. It looks like gold, but brother, it ain't gold.
For some reason, many of them feel compelled to start out by asking you "Are you ready for an exciting career move?" and spend the next 500 words describing the history of their company. Who cares?
Also, they seem so insistent on something called a "degree".
I could totally do these jobs:
Cyberknife Therapist
"Well it seems you're putting too much pressure on yourself. You're just a cyberknife, what do they expect? I think you spend too much time bolted to your steel frame. You spend every day grounded to the generator. Get out, go to the park. Adopt a kitten."
Speech Pathologist
This seems to be where political speeches go after they die. The speech is already dead, right? I'd just take my time, dig around in there with a red pen. I could start out with city councilmen, and work my way up.
Park Ranger
Oh I can range, baby! In a park even.
Geologist
I know iron pyrite, like on sight. It looks like gold, but brother, it ain't gold.
.
I'm voting for Geologist. In every calamitous movie I've ever seen, they eventually turn to a Geologist for their dire predictions about plate techtonics or the likelihood of the Earth's core spontaneously exploding or shrinking.
ReplyDeletewhat the hell is a 'cyberknife'?
ReplyDeleteThe one time I don't link to a definition!
ReplyDeleteA cyberknife is the tool used in radiosurgery:
"Radiosurgery is a medical procedure which allows non-invasive brain surgery, i.e., without actually opening the skull, by means of directed beams of ionizing radiation."