We’ve all been there – in a public bathroom minding your own business, unfortunately sharing the space with one or more rude Stall Dwellers. Of course, we’re too sophisticated to speak up with some crude comment or blunt suggestion to challenge the occupant of the nearby stall.
The solution:
The Bathroom Bastard - an innocuous device that looks like an air freshener, but plays pre-recorded audio. Over 50 random messages! This high-tech wonder features 43 channel polyphonic ultra-fidelity and sounds so real, everyone will be fooled! You plant it, and make your escape.
“Hey buddy, would a courtesy flush kill ya?”
“Fake-cough all you want, I heard that. Damn, and smelled it."
“Nice socks - Did you get dressed in the dark this morning?”
“I hope you don't make that noise in front of your boyfriend.”
New! Available just in time for Christmas:
The solution:
The Bathroom Bastard - an innocuous device that looks like an air freshener, but plays pre-recorded audio. Over 50 random messages! This high-tech wonder features 43 channel polyphonic ultra-fidelity and sounds so real, everyone will be fooled! You plant it, and make your escape.
“Hey buddy, would a courtesy flush kill ya?”
“Fake-cough all you want, I heard that. Damn, and smelled it."
“Nice socks - Did you get dressed in the dark this morning?”
“I hope you don't make that noise in front of your boyfriend.”
New! Available just in time for Christmas:
The Bathroom Bitch. Now girls can get in on the fun!
"If you sprinkle when you tinkle.... Wipe it up! Were you raised in a barn?"
“Some people should be banned from BOGO sales at Payless.”
“Too bad they don't have tanks on the backs of these things any more. It's so much harder to snort coke from the toilet paper dispenser.”
“1985 called - it wants its shoes back.”
Order now - Operators are standing by!
Act Now and receive the Bathroom Sex Sounds Simulator at no extra charge!
~~~~~~~~~~
(Thanks to Vicariously Cindy, without whose input I could not have written this post!)
What would it say to a Glory Hole?
ReplyDeleteWow! Zinged by Squirrley! Touche.
ReplyDeleteAlso, is there glory to be had in anonymity? Doesn't seem like it.
ReplyDelete