If Caught or Killed...

It happens to all of us from time to time - a song will get stuck in your head and it won't leave. Sometimes it's even hard to recall where it was you heard it, what started the whole thing. Having a song stuck in your head can effect your morale and attitude - an upbeat song can cheer you, while a depressing song can drag you down.

What if the government has a special ray gun that can implant songs in people's minds - and how long can you put up with one song before it drives you mad? Or worse, a song makes you bold or reckless, which is my problem right now. I've had the Mission Impossible theme song stuck in my head for about a week, and I can attest to the fact that it's having an effect.

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While at work, I'm now a daredevil with Microsoft Office, trusting the macros to copy correctly the first time, disabling the spell checker with an evil giggle (bring it on!) and laughing at the very idea of using the virus scanner before opening the documents from Eastern Europe - who needs it, I'm living dangerously!! Leaving work on Friday, I dove into the elevator at the last possible millisecond, surprising and impressing the new girl from accounting.

At home, doing laundry was a Special Forces mission. I furrowed my brow and crouched into Attack Position 8-Gamma, the laundry bag slung over my shoulder like a Commando Santa, my bandolier of downy balls slung across my chest in a brazen dare of spring freshness. Alert! One of the foolish citizens of Apartment 12 thinks he's gonna get the washer before me! With a fluid motion, I flung the bag of dirty laundry in his direction, a silent missile hurtling through the chill night air without a sound, dropping him like a sack of potatoes, Ha!

I did a handstand on the second floor railing and did a double flip before hitting the ground beside my fallen bag and the schlep from Apt 12, with a furtive glance from left to right as I dropped the thermite charge which would incinerate the body and destroy any evidence. All without losing a drop of laundry soap.

Life is an adventure when you're possessed by the Mission Impossible theme...