Monday, January 02, 2006

Just Wrong - Numbers

We very regularly get wrong numbers for AMC Theaters. It gets old, but we've yet to bother changing our number.

Being me, I get tempted to mislead these folks - teach them a lesson, make them think twice and hit those digits a little more carefully.

Me: Hello?

Goofus: ...Uh, is this AMC?

Me: Oh! Yeah sorry, this is my first day. AHEM! Thank you for calling AMC, this is Bill.

Goofus: Yeah I wanted to check the times for The Ringer.

Me: The Ringer is playing at 6:30, 7:15, 8:30, and 9:20, but listen -

Goofus: Huh?

Me: (stage whisper) Whatever you do, don't eat any popcorn. Good God Man, the things they do with the popcorn. I threw up for about fifteen minutes nonstop when I first saw the inside of the Popper. And there's rats dude. Big ones.

Goofus: .......

Me: Thank you for calling AMC, goodbye!

5 comments:

  1. oooooo. the fun you could have! run with it. i'd like to see another post on this topic--name 5 more things you could say.

    but don't be so grodey, like, my stomach's still week and the thought of popcorn makes me gag, not alone rats and feces . . . ;-o'
    [uh, i don't know what my little face is doing, but it ain't good]

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  3. ehem, did I call you "daddy"? [wtf?]

    I get freakishly skitterly this time of year. Please excuse me.

    if you knew my voice & personality, eh, might be funny--otherwise, no one knows i am trying to sound like suzy wad on the big wazoo . . .

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  4. Lol, good one.

    If someone calls my house asking for someone who doesn't live here...I like to pretend to be the person they're calling for.

    My record is 6 minutes before they worked it out.

    Unfortunately, over here, the English accent gives it away...sigh.

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  5. If the other guy is Goofus, does that make you Gallant?

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