Who's the Smart One?

I was bored at work the other day and took an online IQ test. Other people toss out their IQ like it was an SAT score, and I'd never taken an IQ test. It was only like 35/40 questions, which seems short. I would expect a more comprehensive test to be a few hundred questions.

So the test was timed, with penalties for taking too long. Ok, fine. Also, you weren't allowed to use a calculator, or pen and paper. This troubled me because a truly smart person is going to use every tool at their disposal to solve a problem. I always have a pen with me, and if I don't have writing materials for some reason, I can draw with my finger in the dirt of the very Earth herself. So I think the "no writing" stipulation is asinine.

And hey, I'm doing this IQ test ONLINE. Therefore, I have at least the Windows calculator at my fingertips, and even if we choose to ignore that, I have a calculator on my cell phone. And I have at least 3 calculators at home. I'm prepared to calculate, do you catch my drift? I am one computationally equipped em-effer, aaiight?

But no. Calculators are not allowed. I don't know why, it's not like it's going to throw off the bell curve or something. Life is an open-book test, and fortune favors the prepared mind. I got the tools, and I got the talent. Opposable thumbs and everything.

I took the test. The wording of some of the questions really annoyed me. Some of the word choices for even a single word would make the rest of the question confusing. Now, was that intentional, or was the writer of the questions a poor communicator. I hope not, they're writing an IQ test FGS. I would have been a lot happier if it was a test mediated by a human. That is, if I have a question, I can ask. Clarification is what it's all about. If I'm uncertain exactly what the question is asking, how can I provide a definitive response?

So in the end, my score was 133. Not bad I suppose, for someone who abhors math in all its forms.

My question now is, if a person is truly brilliant and acts accordingly, would they not wave off such restrictions as 'no pen and paper' and 'no calculator'? Eff that, they'd say. I came prepared, and I'll use every tool my possession to ace this bitch. Seems to me that we should be able to use any and all tools, short of asking someone else what the answer is. If for some reason I don't know what a dodecahedron is, and there is a question about it, well hey, that's what we invented Google for, isn't it? Stupid limitations. This is not history or english class. We're not testing if you read the chapter, this is problem solving skills. The knowledge of your tools and how to use them. Sigh.

But who wants to cheat on their IQ test?

- - Yo, Frank, what's your IQ?
200.
200, you're shitting me.
No, it's true. I looked up the answers on the internet. And used a calculator.
Oh. So you don't really have a 200 IQ.
Don't I?
No. No you don't.

Sigh.