Friday, August 26, 2005

Pees and Cues

Regular readers of my blog know that I'm a quippy, sarcastic creature, and almost certainly I think I'm far funnier than I am (it's all fall-down-funny in my head, much less so on-screen).

I have a problem composing work emails. As I've mentioned before, I don't work for the company where I occupy a desk. My actual coworkers are a few hundred miles away, and I don't directly work for them, either.

So I spend a lot of time alone at my desk, soaking in my own thoughts, squinting at the world through my own lens.

Out of the blue (sometimes after days of no communication at all) I'll get an email from my distant coworkers. Usually the email contains a very simple (foolish) question, requiring a simple (wise and learned) answer.

But I can't resist being me. I write exactly what's on my mind, as if the email were a blog (perhaps this tendency is exacerbated by the fact that I compose my posts in the same email program I use for work).

I end up having to write at least three versions of all my work emails. The first one is pointedly sarcastic, with lots of eye-rolling and disgusted facial expressions. (Is there a 'disgusted' emoticon?)

The second one is slightly better, and by the third iteration - (Mike Version 3) I seem like a such a polite young man, fully suitable to meet your granddaughter and take her out for a root beer at the pharmacy.

Sometimes I'm in a mood, and Version 2 escapes into the world. This is bad, and I'm trying to curb the practice.

I get impatient and irked at home, too - usually due to some psycho-issue on my part (I'd go into my myriad issues, but they are a whole series of posts on their own).

I wish I had a mental buffer, so Mike Version 3 could do all of my communicating.

5 comments:

  1. like a time delay button at the radio station or on tv - are you flashing nipple?

    i have similiar reactions to work emails - i've learned to not respond for at least an hour. i've gotten into trouble too many times for that!

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  2. Ha Ha! I have the same problem!

    So many people write bad work emails, I just want to smack them into remembering to spell check, at least!

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  3. I don't like work e-mails period. Lets just ban then and be done with it...

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  4. I know exactly what you mean! The difference is that I do it already when writing job applications... The last time I got:

    "Though I'm a computer geek, I don't hate people."

    and

    "I know how to turn on hyphenation in Word."

    Although these never made it to the final application, I didn't get the job. Which was sort of customer service and with some general office work. I think it was because my final draft was then void of all personality.

    Applying for jobs by e-mail is so not for me.

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  5. interesting commentary on revision--oh how i wish i could get my students to understand revision!

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