The scene is dark, horror-movie fog clings to the floor.
A dark form moves in from the left, stooped and misshapen.
Foreboding music begins to play.
A dim light fades in, just barely illuminating sharp eyes under craggy brows.
The voice comes, shockingly normal: "Hello, I'm Wes Craven."
The light builds until we can see Wes fully - he is wearing a burgundy smoking jacket and SpongeBob-print pajama pants.
The music builds to a suspenseful climax and fades to the faint, eerie notes of a backwards-cranked jack-in-the-box.
Wes takes a puff from a dainty brown cigarette.
"So I woke up last night from the weirdest dream. I was locked in this shoe store, right? Only there weren't any shoes, instead the shelves were covered with frogs."
"This was one of those high-class stores, and so the sales guy kept trying to put frogs on my feet. The other customers were walking around on frogs, and the little wet and chunky, froggy organs were squishing out everywhere, but I was the only one who noticed."
"I mean, people were slipping and falling and they had no idea why. And their first step on the frogs - it was like still alive, and it lets out this horrible ribbety scream, you know?"
"And my brother was there, wearing a big bonnet right out of Little House on the Prairie. He acted like this was perfectly normal, and was pouring mimosas for everyone, but the oranges, they could feel the juicer cutting into them and they were laughing maniacally and speaking in tongues."
"Um. Yeah. Weird one, right?"
A dark form moves in from the left, stooped and misshapen.
Foreboding music begins to play.
A dim light fades in, just barely illuminating sharp eyes under craggy brows.
The voice comes, shockingly normal: "Hello, I'm Wes Craven."
The light builds until we can see Wes fully - he is wearing a burgundy smoking jacket and SpongeBob-print pajama pants.
The music builds to a suspenseful climax and fades to the faint, eerie notes of a backwards-cranked jack-in-the-box.
Wes takes a puff from a dainty brown cigarette.
"So I woke up last night from the weirdest dream. I was locked in this shoe store, right? Only there weren't any shoes, instead the shelves were covered with frogs."
"This was one of those high-class stores, and so the sales guy kept trying to put frogs on my feet. The other customers were walking around on frogs, and the little wet and chunky, froggy organs were squishing out everywhere, but I was the only one who noticed."
"I mean, people were slipping and falling and they had no idea why. And their first step on the frogs - it was like still alive, and it lets out this horrible ribbety scream, you know?"
"And my brother was there, wearing a big bonnet right out of Little House on the Prairie. He acted like this was perfectly normal, and was pouring mimosas for everyone, but the oranges, they could feel the juicer cutting into them and they were laughing maniacally and speaking in tongues."
"Um. Yeah. Weird one, right?"
ummmmmmm........ Okay- put the drug vial down and back away slooooooooowly.
ReplyDeleteWe won't hurt you, this funny looking jacket is nice and snuggly-warm. Like little bunnies....Come on now............be nice.
Was the sales guy the result of his mother being raped by a hundred lunatics?
ReplyDeleteOld age and money will do that to a man.
ReplyDelete