Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Don't Try This At Home

Along with the nominally legal ideas that occur to me, there are a lot of wild, illegal schemes that pop into my head. Nonviolent ones, of course. I'm all about live and let live.

...Though I really would love to go postal at work some day with a t-shirt gun...

I'll never actually commit a crime, but it's entertaining to consider. Ok! So this idea is something I like to call "Sack O' Money". I've been thinking of using it in a story.

What Tom - the thief character - would do is: observe the actions and steps followed by the armored car collection officer, their schedule and protocols.

One guy stays in the truck, and the other guy goes into the retail store and brings out the loot.

Tom would probably have to get a job at such a retail store, to be able to observe the necessary steps. At a guess, the real armored car guy walks into the back room, signs a form on a clipboard, collects the Sack O' Money, and goes his merry way.

What a great heist! No yelling, no guns, no scaring people, nobody tries to be a hero. All Tom needs is a uniform and a bit of information. Does the guy sign his name and provide a specific numeric entry on the form? If so, he might simply be able to look at yesterday's pickup entry, and copy the number.

Is there a safe word? "The surfing is great in Chile this time of year..." the head cashier says. "Only if you like sushi." The officer says back. Probably no safe word or phrase.

So Tom buys a uniform at one of the uniform outlet stores, and buys or fakes any required arm patches reading "Wells Fargo" or what have you.

An accomplice would be following the actual armored car, and appraising Tom of its location. At least 15 minutes before its arrival, (too early and the money bag might not be ready) Tom heads to the back, tells the staff he's there for the Wells Fargo pickup.

"Where's Frank?" The cashier asks.
"Sick today." Tom replies.

And Tom walks out with Sack O' Money!

Location would be important - a place where Tom could quickly round a corner and be out of sight, and into his vehicle would be best.

Which day would be important. The Tuesday after a three day holiday weekend would bring in the most cash.

Type of store would be important. A large bookstore or electronics chain would make enough money for a worthwhile hit, $20,000 or more. It would have to be large enough and laid out so the cash room had no windows that could see the armored car was not waiting outside.

Some sort of quality disguise would be necessary, since Tom would seen up close and would be likely caught on camera.

It would be a good idea to remove the nondescript getaway vehicle's license plate and replace it with a false one - the fake license plate could be put into one of those slightly yellow plastic plate protectors, making it harder to tell from a real plate.

Of course, Tom would get greedy, try the same scenario a few times, and get caught in the end.

7 comments:

  1. I'm a huge fan of the old 'cons'.

    You know the ones, where they go to extraordinary lengths to screw someone over. I just love the actual cleverness and creativity.

    Now while I'd never do anything illegal (Not necessarily through any moral fortitude, I'd just be terrified of getting caught). I like to try to come up with my own 'cons'.

    After watching 'the sting' for the thousandth time, I came up with this:

    Cold call someone, and tell them they've won a laptop. All they have to do is fill out a questionnaire about it's features, what they think could be improved...what they like and don't like. For 15 mins work, they get to keep it.

    You buy a laptop, install a keylogger, and set it to email the results to you every week.

    Eventually, the guy will buy something with his credit card. You get the number and empty his account.

    Of course, this idea has a million holes in it...but it's a neat concept

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  2. wait--doesn't Tom have to give his real identity in order to be hired?

    Did I miss something?


    anyway--you'd make a good rascle out West in the 1850s . . .

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  3. It's fine if the retail store where Tom does his research knows who he is - he won't be pulling the job at the same location.

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  4. Reminds me of the story from 'pulp fiction'.

    A man walks into the bank withj a cell phone. he hands the phne to the teller, and it says 'We have this man's little girl. If you don't give him the money and let him leae, we're going to kill her.'

    Sounds like an easy scam to set up.

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  5. Maybe your readers will pull together and post bail for you one day...

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  6. It's not my fault! The internet made me do it!

    Where's Jake Thompson when you need him?

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